In an arranged marriage setup, I met a 35-year-old man whom I liked and was attracted to. His family was more decent than mine. However, my family was concerned about his drinking habits. I spoke to him about it, asked him many personal questions, revealed my family’s conversations with him due to some excitement, and even compared him to my brother, suggesting that he go to the gym. Though I didn’t intend to body-shame him, I ended up doing so in the wrong way.
He never opened up about his thoughts or discomfort with me, and he called off the engagement and went into no contact. Despite my efforts and my family’s apologies, he remained distant. Later, I met another 31-year-old man who is financially struggling and has a lower salary than mine. I don’t like his family, but I agreed to marry him because he seemed nice. However, I find his expectations, especially his demand that I work to help improve the family’s financial situation, unsettling.
It feels like he is more interested in my salary than in me. He is trying to impress me, but I’m not attracted to him. I don’t have the courage to express this because of my family’s pressure. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just adjust and move forward, but I’m confused and frustrated, especially since my family keeps scolding me. I’m unsure what to do. Am I overthinking and going to miss a good guy? Or am I developing unwanted feelings for the previous guy, who is not interested in me? My heart is heavy, and I’m struggling to make a decision.