When I was 25, I fell in love with a guy. We were in a happy relationship for almost 2 years until my parents started discussions about my marriage, and they knew about him. At that time, he was not settled and asked for some time, but he let his parents know about me. After a few days, they disapproved due to caste. He obeyed his parents and broke up with me. Even though I told him that I would wait until they accepted, he said they wouldn’t accept and that we should move on.
But after some days, he came back to me and promised that he would convince his parents, but he couldn’t make it happen, and again, we broke up. The same thing repeated 3 times. Since he had no decision making capability, I had to leave him. But he kept messaging me often. I lost interest in marriage, but I had to consider it for my parents. So, I agreed to an arranged marriage and got engaged within a week after meeting the groom, whom I didn’t know much. I thought of taking time and going slowly, but I didn’t like the boy’s attitude.
He has been pretending to be such a good guy, but I could sense that he was not genuine with his behavior. No matter how much I tried, I wasn’t getting interested in him. Eventually, I told him that I needed some time and asked him to put effort into the relationship. Since he is an old school guy, he didn’t know how to behave with a girl, and he is quite dull. He took it the wrong way and suddenly turned arrogant, told my parents, and made the situation worse. Arguments started and eventually, my engagement was cancelled.
He didn’t even try to understand why I was asking for time, and he never tried to sit and discuss making the relationship work. Just after my engagement, my ex came back to me since he got to know about it and started talking to me casually. I didn’t have any thoughts of getting back to him. But I felt like his words disturbed me sometimes, and I couldn’t put effort into the relationship I was planning to get married into. I stopped talking to him after the engagement was cancelled since I was angry with him for constantly disturbing me and not letting me move on.
Eventually, I moved on and became happy with my friends and work. Since I was clear, I started looking for other matches, but because I got engaged and that got cancelled, no one is willing to move forward after I told them all the facts (my younger brother had an inter religion marriage, and my engagement was cancelled). Recently, I went to Bangalore and was having a great time with my friends at Rameswaram Cafe. He was beside me all of a sudden (it was not planned). I didn’t know he was staying nearby. After 2 years, I met him accidentally there.
I thought I had moved on. But after meeting him, I realized I still love him. We started talking again. He said he would try to convince his parents. But though I like him, I fear facing the same problems again my parents and whole family hate him because of the fake promises and for giving up three times. I keep remembering those days at night, and I am not getting sleep since I met him. I know his parents won’t accept, and even if they do, I’m not sure I’ll be happy if I marry him.
I also don’t want to look for other matches since I haven’t fully moved on. Eventually, I’ve lost interest in marriage again and decided not to marry. But my parents are forcing me to get married since I’m 29 and are emotionally blackmailing me. I’m not able to decide what to do.