I’m 27, got married in an arranged marriage setup, and my husband is 32. We knew about his family via a wedding broker, and all that we knew was that his mom is a single mother and he is working in a company where his mom’s brother and sister helped him pay the education fee and take care of his belongings. So my mother-in-law feels that she needs to be a slave for everything her sister and brother would do.
Though my husband doesn’t like that, my MIL still forces him to give regular updates of our life to his uncle every day. Even if he is buying a laptop, he needs to inform his uncle. She started shouting for not being pregnant in a month, and that has continued. His mom is alone, his uncle left his wife, his sister left her husband and is staying alone with a kid nearby, and his brother doesn’t do anything (all this I came to know after marriage).
Everyone comes to my husband for everything, and they just wait in a queue for him to wake up. He sometimes apologizes behind closed doors for what his mother is doing to me, but that includes abusive words and beatings, which I kept telling him very politely not to do. I said, “Don’t be very manly; this is not going to save our relationship.” Considering that he doesn’t have a father and is a single man earning and supporting the family, I would accept everything just for his sake.
He would accept, say sorry, and repeat it again. Since he is a single child, no one asked him anything apart from the salary. He works and gives the money to his mom. She cooks, they both eat and sleep. Nothing more than that. Now as a wife, if I ask him a very normal routine question, he gets triggered and pushes me to hell. Sometimes he is so good and sometimes he is hell.
When I ask him why he gets angry over such a normal question, he comments back saying, “If I touch you, you will feel good, but you won’t when I get angry.” I don’t feel that’s the right word or the right way to handle it. I tried my best to hold on to this marriage. His whole family is narrow minded. They would never accept that he is doing anything wrong.
For a recent trip, due to work, I couldn’t make it, which I informed him about two weeks in advance. I told him I would convey this to his family, but he stopped me. I kept asking as the day drew closer because I knew this narrow minded family would put everything on my head last minute. I begged him to let me talk to his family, and he kept denying it.
The moment he told his mom that I wasn’t going to join the trip, she shouted at him. As soon as he came back home, he booked the tickets, threw me in the airport, called my dad to pick me up from there, and took a return flight to join the trip. He didn’t answer my calls or reply to a text for almost 40 days, saying he needed some time.
After 40 days, he came with his uncle and mom to take me back. Meanwhile, my dad met with an accident and was hospitalized. They didn’t utter a word about this and just asked me to go with him. I was the one who pushed to sort things out even after that. Today, he and his mom were fighting over something in the kitchen, and she played an emotional drama saying, “I will leave the house immediately.”
He replied, “Why would you leave? Let her leave,” and held my neck. I wasn’t sure why he would do that when he and his mother were fighting over something else. With all this stress, my health is ruined. I’m undergoing medications. My stress hormone levels are so high it caused multiple issues in my reproductive system. I’m not sure what to do now.
I feel helpless and can’t seek my parents’ help, thinking about their health conditions. My dad is suffering from a brain stroke, and my mom has high sugar, cholesterol, and has undergone multiple surgeries. I feel trapped here. Please help me.
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