I don’t know when it started. Maybe the first day. Maybe the first moment I saw him. He is 27 years male and was the kind of man you’d read about in books. When I walked into the company and saw him tall, broad shouldered, his shirt stretched across a chest that could belong to a Greek statue. His sharp jawline, those hollow cheeks, eyes, the light stubble beard that made him look effortlessly perfect. His presence was intoxicating. But it wasn’t just his looks. He was polite, well mannered, and warm in a way that wasn’t forced.
He was kind. He smiled at everyone, laughed with the juniors. He was everything a man should be good mannered, respectful, charming in a way that wasn’t forced. And for some reason, he was nice to me. Everyone liked him. He was friendly, approachable, always willing to help. And I was no exception. At first, it was just casual conversations. Work related questions, a few jokes exchanged in passing. But somehow, those conversations stretched longer.
I don’t even remember how we got to talking so much. Late night chats became a routine, and I convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, I was special. But I should have known better. There’s a reason why he never flirts, never crosses a line. One night, he followed me on Instagram. (I didn’t even know he had one.) There it was. A highlight named She. I shouldn’t have clicked. I shouldn’t have scrolled. But I did. And there she was. Over and over.
A girl so beautiful, so effortlessly perfect, resting her head on his shoulder, standing beside him like she belonged there. Because she did. High school sweethearts. They went to the same NIT. They built a life together, side by side, while I some foolish, delusional girl thought I even stood a chance. I should have closed the app. Should have taken a deep breath and reminded myself that he never led me on. But I didn’t. I kept scrolling, kept torturing myself, reading old captions, imagining a life that was never mine to begin with.
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see him his face, his smile, the way he made me feel like I belonged. But I didn’t. I never did. And now, I don’t know how to exist with this emptiness pressing down on my chest. I wish I could undo it all. Unmeet him. Unfeel everything. But I never will be able to. But he’s not married yet, though… Should I keep trying? It’s not like I don’t have a chance. People tell me I’m beautiful too. I’ve had so many proposals, from school to college. Everyone finds me attractive. So what should I do?
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Keep trying
Option 2: Move on