I am a 24 years old male, and I want to share my relationship experience, which has left me confused and emotionally drained. I met my wife during college, where our relationship began. From the start, I felt that my feelings were much stronger than hers. I often wondered whether she genuinely cared for me or was just passing time.
In the beginning, she made some efforts in the relationship, but as time passed, her efforts started to decrease. Whenever we had arguments, I was always the one who apologized and tried to resolve things. This became a pattern no matter who was at fault, I was the one to make amends. Over time, I started feeling that maybe I wasn’t as important to her as I thought.
The First Major Conflict is One day, I had a disagreement with one of her close friends a bench partner with whom she spent a lot of time. I asked her to stop sitting with that person, but she refused and told me I was wrong to ask that. The argument escalated, and eventually, she asked me to stop talking to her altogether.
Even though she promised me on calls that she would avoid contact with that friend, I found out that she continued to talk to them, especially when we had fights or when I wasn’t around. This hurt me deeply because her words and actions didn’t match. I even told her that if she couldn’t let go of that friend for me, how could I see a future with her?
She assured me that I was important, but her behavior didn’t reflect that. We eventually became physically intimate, but despite that closeness, I always felt that she didn’t truly love me. The Pregnancy and Marriage Decision Things took a serious turn when she became pregnant. We decided not to terminate the pregnancy and agreed to get married.
During this phase, she started behaving the way I always wanted more caring and attentive. We got married, and for the first month, everything seemed fine. However, just before our marriage, something happened that raised more doubts. One of her ex boyfriends, who was involved in supporting a political party, came to her house and pressured her to talk.
She spoke to him for about two minutes, and later, he called her twice more, and she talked to him each time for a couple of minutes. I found out about this on the same day. When I confronted her, she said she was planning to tell me that night, which left me feeling betrayed. She explained that she only wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to speak with him anymore.
When I asked why she spoke to him twice if that was all she intended to say and why she answered at all. She simply said, “Mujhe itna samajh nahi aaya” (I didn’t understand it properly at that moment). Despite my hurt feelings, I let it go, and we got married. My Ongoing Doubts and Feelings. These incidents have left me with lingering doubts about her feelings for me.
I often wonder if she ever truly loved me or if she married me only because of the pregnancy. Even after a year of marriage, I feel that she doesn’t fully love me. While she has started to show a little more affection and understanding, her actions still make me question her commitment.
When I am away from home, she rarely calls or checks on me. At home, she stays busy with household work, and by the time night comes, she goes straight to sleep. Our physical intimacy still exists, but I can’t help but feel that something is missing emotionally. No matter how much I try to trust her, these past incidents and her current behavior make me question.
Whether she genuinely loves me or if she is simply fulfilling the obligations of marriage. I feel stuck in a cycle of doubt and emotional pain, unsure of how to move forward. I just want to understand am I overthinking, or is there a real reason to question her love and loyalty?
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