Hello Admin, I’ve been struggling with something for the past few years, and I still can’t find clarity. It’s been weighing on me for a long time, so I’m here seeking honest opinions. Please read the whole story before judging. I’m (Alia) I came to the United States in 2022 for my master’s with my boyfriend (Varun). During our first year, our relationship was happy and stable. In the second semester, a few of his friends from India joined our university, and we all lived together in the same house. The following year, Sid joined our department.
We weren’t classmates, but we met through a mutual friend. It started as a normal friendship, and over time we became good friends. Around the same time, my relationship with Varun had become difficult. We were arguing often, and I felt emotionally distant. Naturally, I found myself talking to Sid more because he listened to me and was someone I felt comfortable talking to. Meanwhile, Varuns friends kept telling him that something was wrong with me and questioned my character simply because I was friends with people outside our group.
I’ve always been a friendly person who enjoys making friends, not just with Sid but with everyone. I couldn’t understand why they were making it seem like I had done something wrong. What hurt me the most was that, instead of trusting me, Varun started believing what his friends were saying. He began looking at me with suspicion, and it felt like he trusted their opinions more than the person he knew. That broke me emotionally. I had come to the U.S. with him, trusted him completely, and even told my parents about our relationship.
Because I no longer felt emotionally safe or trusted, I also became physically distant. For me, emotional trust comes before sex. A few months later, Varun told me he wasn’t ready for marriage and needed several more years to settle down. He also said he wasn’t sure about our future. Hearing that made me feel like he was slowly distancing himself and looking for reasons to leave the relationship. That’s when I became deeply insecure and emotionally lost. Over time, Sid became more than a friend. He became my safe place.
About a year into our friendship, we kissed one night. We both felt guilty afterward and agreed we shouldn’t have crossed that line, but we continued being close. Sid also had a girlfriend in India, but he told me he wanted to end the relationship and felt trapped because she would threaten to harm herself whenever he tried to break up. I believed him. As the months passed, we spent almost every day together. What drew me closer to him was how he listened to me without judging me.
Sid went to India after returning from a vacation in India, where he told me he had only met his girlfriend a 3 times, he became even more caring and affectionate. A few months later, our relationship became physically intimate. After that, we committed to each other and fell deeply in love emotionally and physically very close. We make love almost every day together, and sex became a big part of how we expressed our love and reconnected after arguments. No matter how much we fight, we always found our way back to each other on bed.
Sid and I became deeply centered around sex it ended up changing both of our lives. We grew in love by making love we become completely consumed by each other and sex become the language we spoke. Sex is how we expressed love and comforted. We addicted to each other no matter where we were. We even visited adult sex clubs watch them and book a red room and did everything we watched. We had sex on parking plots in the car, on the road in nights, woods, parks, public restrooms, Cinema theatres, on the way while trailing, lake decks almost every second we live by touching each others private parts no matter where we are, even in the house living with group of people we had sex in the washroom where no one knows. Still today We can’t live without sex. Sex wasn’t just something we enjoyed, it became our entire world.