I need to get this off my chest. I came to the USA 10 years ago, finished my master’s right away, got a job, and from day one I sent almost all my earnings back home to my parents. I also helped pay for my brother’s education. With that money, they built a house, and they always told me it was “for me too” and I kept saying the same thing back, that whatever assets there are should be split equally between me and my brother. Fast forward to now all my friends here have already bought their own homes.
I’m still renting an apartment. So I asked my parents if they could help me out, maybe take a loan against the house we built together, so I could buy even a small place here while still paying that loan off. I wasn’t asking for anything fancy, just something small of my own. Their response? They said they’d already spent enough on my education, gave me gold worth 10 lakhs, and that I’d basically already gotten my share through the other 10 lakhs of gold too.
Meanwhile they have other assets and properties that they never bring into this conversation. When I point that out, they call me “calculating.” I’m just asking for what’s fair, but somehow that makes me the bad guy. Even recently, while I myself was struggling financially, I sent them another 10 lakhs because they said they needed it. And now when it comes to giving me something back, suddenly they’re “struggling with loans” but my father apparently really likes a particular piece of land and doesn’t want to let go of it.
I’m married now. My brother flat out said even if our parents wanted to put something in my name, he wouldn’t agree to it or cooperate. And my parents aren’t budging either at most they offered me some land worth way less than what’s fair, while holding onto everything else. Am I overthinking this? Am I wrong for wanting this? I never compared myself to my friends, even though they all warned me years ago “don’t send everything home, keep something for yourself.” I didn’t listen. I gave it all.
And now if I ever had to move back, all I’d have to my name is land worth maybe 30 lakhs. I genuinely don’t know anymore if I’m in the right. When I was giving, I never asked questions or expected anything back. Now that I’m asking, I ask gently, respectfully and somehow I’m the rude one. I still love my parents, I still need them, especially as a daughter. But it feels like they’re not on my side anymore. Even my brother, the same person who used to praise me to everyone, won’t back me up now. I just want to know am I the one in the wrong here?