Hi, I’m a Muslim girl, doing MBBS, currently in 4th year. Two years back, my father died. I was very much in depression at that time. Meanwhile, a guy from seniors cared for me, made sure I was okay, talked nicely to me, and I fell in love with him (I’ll give him the name “Z”). Z was very caring, kind, protective, and we got into a relationship on the condition that he’d send a proposal (do Nikkah with me).
He then graduated after 2 months and I stayed at college. Z always made sure I had eaten something, that I dressed well. Z provided me with everything from my favorite eatables to dresses on every festival. I told my mother about him and she agreed to our marriage (in short). Z was the perfect man I had ever met. I got physical with him after 2 years of relationship (my biggest regret).
After that, I asked him to bring a proposal as my mother forces me to marry every single proposal that comes to our home. Meanwhile, Z started arguing with me without any reason, making small issues into big problems. Whenever I asked him to bring a proposal, he just ignored me and made lame excuses like “my mother is not well,” “my sister’s pregnant.” Like what bro?
You’re not the one who’ll deliver a baby just come and ask for my hand. He creates a fuss about everything. He has issues with every little thing I do. It’s been more than a year. It’s his routine to character assassinate me whenever I ask if he’ll come to our home for my hand. When I try to end everything with him, he always apologizes and I agree. But now, for the past two months, I’m fed up with his lame excuses.
I just know he doesn’t want to marry me and I’m convinced that he just cared for me out of sympathy because my father is no longer in this world. I just told my mum to do whatever she wants. My mum’s cousin just brought a proposal for her son. He’s a good boy, but I don’t know much about him just met him at my house when both families wanted us to meet. He has a good job, is well settled, and my mum said yes to them.
I told my mum, “Whatever you wanna do, I’II accept that,” because the person I loved has not respected me enough to make me his wife. Well, my mum said yes to them. Me? For clearing my conscience, I informed Z about this, thinking maybe he’d become serious and do something. I said I still have the opportunity to say no if you agree, and he just replied with, “You are so dramatic,” and character assassinated me again, saying, “I’ll get a CDR (call detail record) of your SIM and then I’ll see if I have to marry you or not.
Just do what pleases you. You have many boys to entertain,” and all that stuff. Well, the whole thing behind this story is Z, whom I love, I gave up on him and I’m just trying to go with my mum’s choice. Now I am very confused about what I should do. I’m not a virgin. I’ve been intimate. My future husband will eventually find out about this. Should I tell him before our marriage or just not say anything about it?
I asked him if he wanted to ask anything about my past, but he just said, “I don’t wanna ask about your past.” I’m very reluctant to tell him this on my own. I don’t know what to do. I’m in so much confusion right now.
Question: Should I tell my future husband about my past?
Option 1: Yes, tell him and ask his point of view
Option 2: Just go with the flow
You can share all your Confessions with me over Gmail or Google Chat Praveenpandu6102@gmail.com