I met a girl in Delhi University. Before I met her, I was dating multiple girls and I was pretty clear that I don’t or I couldn’t develop affection for anybody. After I met her, she seemed different, she was shy and didn’t talk to anybody. I found her very mysterious and felt a steep attraction towards her. Then I started finding ways of getting closer to her, and I succeeded we started talking everyday for hours.
Then after few weeks she came to know about me how I was dating multiple girls before I met her and even when I was talking to her, she cried and I thought I lost her, but for some reason she gave me another chance and I thought she must have loved me very very much to do that. Then, after some time she decided to tell me about her past, about her relationship.
That she had since school time and also told me that she once even missed college the day I was waiting for her to meet her ex and she even used to call and text him every now and then, I got very disturbed, firstly because I am very conservative about how the girl I’d like to be with should be and also because she did mention it at the very beginning, she waited until I develop some of the feelings, that I found cunning and I hated her for that.
Then, I tried to convince myself and let things go on, then weeks later we went to a park in Delhi wherein I checked her phone wherein I found her texts with a senior where she was talking about that she is still not entirely over her ex and that was it, I decided at that exact moment even though it wasn’t a big deal, that I can’t love her no more and I became extremely angry.
And left her in the garden all alone and came back home and cried for the first in my life, I never cried before that, as I was deeply cold hearted and unbothered by almost everything. Then we didn’t talk for many days, and one day she texted me again, I wanted to block her and things then and there, but then I thought if I can’t love her and I can still have some fun like I used to had before I met her.
And so I gave us one more chance and this time I came back seeking revenge but then eventually I got soft on her as I really liked her and then she told me that she feels sexually attracted to me and of course I did too. And so then we started having sex, and a lot of it. But then I bring about my weird fantasies I made her strip naked in winters, in very cold nights for hours on video chats.
I made her send me nudes and videos of her stripping naked almost everyday, and when we used to have sex I manipulated her that we shall record it and I told her that I’ll delete all these but I never deleted anything, I became very rude to her, and I convinced her to do anal, deep throat and ugliest of this all, I even pissed on her and once even ‘in’ her mouth.
And I told her that if she let me piss in her mouth I would tell her a secret and created a great suspense and so she let me to know the secret and that secret was that I secretly recorded us kissing when we kissed for the first time at ‘Purana Kila’. And this I think broke her, once I told her that talking to her wasn’t same anymore, she seemed different person.
And then after around a year and half she told me that she likes someone else now, somebody who helped her recover from the traumas I gave her. The moment she told me everything, the small things and big, how I was rude to her, abused her few times, and did very nasty things to her, I paused and thought about everything that made me felt so guilty and after she left me.
I realised that I always loved her and just trying to believe I don’t because I always believed she wronged me by not telling me about her past at the right time and now I am trying to her her back, she is nice enough to let me talk to her and she even came to meet me few times after we broke up, she wanted that we shall meet and talk but I again convinced her we shall go to hotel and do it one last time and close the things.
And I am making her do this for almost a year now thinking that if I keep making her lay with me she would come back but she seems entirely certain about never coming back to me which is exhausting my patience but I seem clueless as I don’t feel like going on a date with somebody else, being with someone else is not even a thought, I really want to make up for my mistakes and be with her this time like an ideal man and I some where feel that one day she might back to me.
Question: My question is shall I try to get her back or shall I let her be happy and get away from her life?
Option 1: Wait for her
Option 2: Let her go
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