I was married earlier. I loved the guy and changed myself in every possible way to make him happy. Turns out, he had lied about everything his past, his ex, everything. He was still cheating on me with his ex while pretending to be a good husband. I gave him countless chances, manipulated into believing they were “just friends.” But then I found her nudes and a video call sex recording on his phone. I was pregnant at the time.
I told his family, but by then he had deleted all the evidence. He and his family turned against me, and he continued to torture me mentally and emotionally, pressuring me to get an abortion. Eventually, he forced the abortion, then divorced me, and left me with nothing not my things, not my gold, not a single penny.
Then came a second arranged marriage proposal. He was divorced too, with a child. We knew his family, and they told us his ex-wife was “psycho” and had tortured him. I opened up to him about my trauma. I made it very clear that I needed time to heal. He pretended to be understanding. He agreed to share responsibilities, said he only wanted a “good natured” wife. He said all the right things.
Claimed to be calm, mature, and understanding. The courtship was short because his father was very ill. We got married. Within a week, he showed his true colors. He started forcing me for sex, didn’t care if I was on my period, acted like some entitled king. He wanted passwords to my phone and socials, accused me of cheating if I didn’t comply. Everything revolved around him and his ego.
When I reminded him of the promises he made before marriage, he laughed and said, “Everyone lies before marriage.” He openly declared that he didn’t want to put in any effort. He refuses to take me out, saying we live with family and don’t need to. I work long hours and still tried to plan time with him he made fun of me, accused me of just wanting to eat out.
I gave up trying. Even for intimacy, when I politely asked him to be more hygienic, he exploded and abused me. I stopped talking to him except when absolutely necessary because every conversation turns into a fight. He twists my words, gaslights me, and makes me out to be the villain.
In just 3 to 4 months, his mental and verbal abuse drove me to the brink of suicide. He uses filthy language only in private and then plays the victim in front of his family. Not once has he apologized. He constantly threatens to throw me out, never once made me feel at home. Even when I had a high fever, he took away my blanket.
Then he goes around acting like I’m the problem saying I don’t talk, that I’m not intimate, that I’m not a “good wife.” I’ve tried everything. But he’s a liar, aggressive, impulsive, and money obsessed. He wants to control my money. while torturing me for every rupee he spends.
People say, “He has property, stay with him.” But this man throws a tantrum if he spends even ₹100 on me. Will he ever change? Should I leave?
Question: What to do now?
Option 1: Leave.
Option 2: Give him some time.