I’m in a relationship with my brother-in-law for 6 years, thinking that he is loyal and a very good person. He treated me like I was the only one in his life. In the beginning, my family came to know about this and warned me not to do this again. But I was unable to move on as he was physical with me, and I thought I would only marry him since I was physical with him.
I fought with my family stating I would only marry him and did not speak to my family for 2 months because of this issue. But it was not true. There was another woman in his life. He was in a relationship with her for 5 years. He has been cheating on me for 5 years. I was not able to notice it as he lied that she was his friend. I never called her or abused her due to the confidence I had in him, but it ruined me.
I was tired of asking about her for 5 years, listening to the same answer that she is his friend and he is not in touch with her anymore. I started ignoring him, thinking he would come back to me and explain things. But it didn’t happen. He was silent and still talking to her. The thing is, she knows that I was there in his life since the beginning, but still she didn’t leave my boyfriend. I was very dry with him for 6 months.
In the meanwhile, I met a person who was my trainer in my first job during this phase. He had a crush on me and one day he proposed to me. I explained my whole life with my boyfriend and told him it doesn’t work as I already have a boyfriend. Still, he tried to convince me. Gradually, as the days passed by, I shared the story of my boyfriend with him. He tried to treat me right and motivated me in every possible way.
Things to mention: I only got love from my boyfriend and nothing more than that. We didn’t explore, we didn’t go out other than private space, we didn’t enjoy anything but love. There would be no answer for my questions from my boyfriend, only silence.
This was not the case with my trainer. I don’t know if I got attracted to him and started being close to him. We were in a kind of relationship. After 6 months, I came to know that my boyfriend was physical with the girl he cheated on me with. He was caught red handed with texts. I couldn’t digest it as I was being cheated on for 5 years even though I was very loyal.
I didn’t speak to him for a few days and then realized he is my real love and went back to him saying can we start over, as I’m unable to live without you. He gradually stopped talking to the girl and realised I was his real love and came back to me.
One day, he came to know about my trainer and started seeing our chats. He came to know about that. He then started ignoring me saying you shouldn’t do that even though I do the same, you should stay loyal to me. I however realized that it is also a mistake and begged him not to leave, as I had informed my trainer the same and he stopped talking to me.
I proved in every possible way that I’m not doing any mistake now and he says that he wouldn’t forget the incidents that happened between me and my trainer for a lifetime. I’m still begging to save our relationship, but he still wants to leave me and go for an arranged marriage. He started abusing my mother for this. I was impatient in that situation and said you shouldn’t do this.
Later, I still wanted him to stay with me and kept promising him I will never do that again. He is still ignoring me completely, but I’m unable to move on.
Question: Suggest me what to do now?
Option 1: Should I leave him and go for an arranged marriage
Option 2: Still try to convince him, even if he says he doesn’t love me anymore