I belong to South India where the caste system is predominant. I am from a middle class family, very obedient since my childhood, topped all my academics, and am working in an MNC. In 2021, I met a guy who belongs to North India. Eventually, we both fell in love and things are going fine. He understands me more than anyone, including my parents. After giving time to understand each other, we decided to take things forward and in October 2023, he introduced me to his mother and family members.
Even though they were hesitant initially, later they accepted me. Now I talk to his family 1 to 2 times a week, and they have accepted me as their daughter-in-law. In November 2023, I also told my parents that I have feelings for him and want to marry him. Their only response NO. Since then, I have been trying to make them understand how much he means to me. They are not ready to speak to me on that topic or even talk to him. My father has stopped speaking to me for the past 10 months. My mom and younger sister talk to me but don’t bring up my marriage discussion.
If I try to bring up the topic, it’s only crying and blackmail that I get in return. I tried speaking to them, making them understand, but nothing worked. Their only statement Not our caste, not our state, not our language, just forget him. When asked, society is more important than my happiness to them. Also, any incident that happens, my mom blames my boyfriend even though he is not responsible for it. I can’t lose him because he loves me so much, is very loyal, and his family respects and supports me.
I can’t give up and move on. But at the same time, it’s high time I take a decision. I can get a legal court marriage with the support of his family, but I want some suggestion from you on how to convince my parents for one last time. I have Crohn’s disease and I am currently undergoing treatment. My mom even blames my boyfriend for this. Apart from this, because of the situation, I am going into depression, hating myself, losing interest in work, and have stopped believing in God.
I don’t have any relatives or friends to support me and talk to my parents to convince them. If I marry him against their choice, my parents won’t accept me and they will not even talk to me. It might take years or even more. Need suggestions on how to make my parents agree to our marriage.
Question: Shall I go against my parents and get married?
Option 1: Yes, go ahead it’s your life
Option 2: No, think about family