I am a 26 years old Indian girl. My parents raised me with love. They gave me good education. I studied hard, I got a good job, I earned well. I always thought after marriage my life will be happy. But my marriage turned into pain. We were newly married, and naturally, I wanted some quality time with my husband to talk, watch TV, or just spend simple moments together.
But most of the time, he was busy with work, and on weekends, he chose his friends over me. I wasn’t asking for the whole day, just even an hour to connect, but whenever I asked, it turned into a fight. At night too, he only cared about physical closeness, while I used to wait for his emotional presence. His friends kept visiting even when he wasn’t home, and when I said I felt uncomfortable, he only replied, “They are my best friends,” without caring for my feelings.
My husband doesn’t even understand that marriage is not just about physical intimacy it is about giving time, care, and emotional support too. I just don’t understand what’s the point of being in a good position and just lacking basic sense. My husband listens only to his mother. Even for shopping he asks her. Every day there are calls from India, asking what
I did, how I behaved. I felt like a prisoner. I told my parents, but they begged me to adjust. Always the girl has to adjust, never the boy. In May we came to India for his brother’s marriage. From day one, his mother and aunties started asking me, “Why no baby? Why no good news?” They asked again and again in front of everyone.
After the marriage they called my parents and arranged a big meeting with many relatives. They questioned me, “Why you are not conceiving? It is already one year. Something is wrong in you. Our relatives got pregnant in 2 or 3 months.” I said, “We did not plan yet.” But they insulted me more. My husband sat silent like a stone.
I went for check-up. Doctor said I am healthy. Still they blamed me. They scolded my parents saying they cheated. Nobody asked about my husband’s health. I forced him to test. His mother shouted, “He is a man, he is strong.” After big drama he tested. Report showed low sperm count. Still they said, “Report is fake, she gave money to doctor.” They continue blaming me.
Now, with my husband no one can get pregnant. Still I’m not sad or am like leaving my husband but Now my in-laws even say he should marry again. The worst part is my husband didn’t even fight for me. He was silent like he also wanted it. My heart broke completely. To be frank I must be sad but it’s opposite. I came to my parents’ house to see if he really cared and loved me. But he didn’t even call me once.
For four days I only called him, then I stopped. He never called. After everything I went through, this silence was the biggest pain. Going through all this shit, and still I’m not able to leave this person. Before I used to to feel like if we are treated wrong then we have to leave no matter what, but it’s not easy it’s a nightmare. It’s more like mental torture and emotional journey one can go through.
I’m such a strong girl yet I’m not able to divorce. They took my salary when I worked, they asked for gold and dowry, they compared me with relatives, they said I cannot sit in poojas because I didn’t conceive. They made me feel like I am an outsider, not part of family. When some parents want their son to stay under their control, when they want him to be only with them, why do they even get him married? Boys and girls are raised equally.
Parents give love, education, freedom to both. Then why after marriage I treated like I came from some other world? Why am I always blamed, always controlled, always shamed? I studied, I worked, I earned. But after marriage I am treated like I am nothing. My husband has problem, still they blame me. My parents are insulted. My husband is silent. My in-laws talk of second marriage.
If you really want to marry, then be in a position where you can take care of your partner individually. Parents from both sides can guide sometimes, but they should not control every small matter. Having babies or not is also husband and wife’s own decision. When there is no love or respect, what is the point of forcing babies? Marriage should be about two people living with care, love and respect, not about families deciding everything for them.
After going to USA, I avoided everyone just to spend time with my husband. But he avoided me for everyone. Now when I have problem, I have no one. I am not able to trust anyone. I have become insecure. I studied, I worked, I earned. Still, after marriage, I am treated like nothing. Guys, if you are reading this, please change. Give love. Give respect. Stand with your partner no matter what. Stay loyal.
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