He is 29 and I am 32. We connected through a dating app in October 2019. It was my first time using an online dating app after 3 failed relationships. I honestly had no intention or expectation of any relationship or anything serious. I just wanted to connect with people or make friends, as I was in a new city with no friends apart from a few colleagues. He was one of the guys I matched with in the first few days itself. Though initially I used to chat with some of the matches, he was the only one I found interesting and very down-to-earth.
There was some attraction from my side from the beginning itself, as he was really cute and interesting to talk to. We met 5-6 times before we got physical. Again, this wasn’t what I wanted, but it happened as we were both really drawn to each other. During lockdown, we used to sneak out and meet once or twice a month. Initially, he tried to keep it casual as he had had a very bad breakup recently. I was already in love with him by the time it had been more than a year of knowing him, but he never tried to make me feel hat he was also in love with me.
But one day, he texted me to tell me that he loves me and wants to marry me. It was the best day of my life. I shattered all my walls and happily accepted. But the very next day, he sounded different. I could sense it, and I confronted him. He said he was confused. I could not understand what he was thinking. Then we met, after which he again proposed to me in the nicest way possible and also introduced me to his best friends. I again fell for it. In the next few days, he again fluctuated and told me he wasn’t sure. I just broke down after that.
The problem is, this has been happening ever since, until recently. It’s almost 5 years now. I love him and take him back every time he comes to me. I just love him too much to let him go and move on. We have tried to cut off multiple times. Sometimes he blocks me, sometimes I do. But we always end up reconnecting. We were just confused about whether this was just physical attraction or emotional attachment. I could not imagine myself spending the rest of my life with anyone but him. He felt like home to me.
His parents do not approve of me as I am from a different country. He tried telling them about me, but they don’t want me in their family. He did not fight for us because he himself doesn’t know whether he really loves me or not. I asked him to block me again. This time, it feels final because he has been a bit distant already. He said he will get married in 2025 itself. And I love him too much to move on so easily and fast.
I do get marriage proposals, but I am unable to give that space to anybody but him. I will be 33 soon, and I feel the pressure of getting old and ending up alone. What should I do? Should I wait for him to come back to me again, like he always does?
Question: Should I wait for him?
1. Yes, he will come back to you.
2. No, move on.