She was my crush since junior high. I used to get butterflies just seeing her smile back then we were just kids. Years passed, and our bond grew. We became best friends, and somewhere deep inside, I always hoped there would be something more. During those years, I had minor attractions toward other girls, and she too had been in 2 to 3 relationships, or at least that’s what I heard. I didn’t care, I always came back to her. After 12th, we both started spending more time together, and finally, it happened… we started dating.
She got into a college in Noida, and I in Gurgaon. The distance was tough, but I was tougher or so I thought. She changed. She wanted to enjoy her college life do everything she couldn’t do in school. I understood, I tried to support her, but slowly I became more possessive. She started lying, hiding things, and becoming colder. I tolerated all of it… because I loved her. The fights increased. The warmth died. It turned toxic, and I knew it but I still held on. I didn’t want to let go of her, no matter how badly it hurt me.
And then one day, she just cut me off completely. Blocked me from everywhere. No goodbye. No closure. Nothing. I couldn’t take it. I was breaking inside. I traveled 50 kilometers just to see her, just to hear her voice in person, just to feel that maybe it was all a bad dream. I reached her college, searched every corner like a madman she was nowhere. I called her from a friend’s number, desperate. She picked up and coldly told me to go back.
I begged. She told me to come to Pari Chowk. I didn’t even think twice. l rushed there, another 20 kilometers away. When I called her from there, she said, “I’m not coming. Just catch a bus to Delhi and go home.” I broke. Right there at the metro station, surrounded by strangers, I cried like a child. My soul shattered. I told myself, “Cry your heart out today so you never cry again for someone like this.” I carried the pieces of my heart, boarded a bus back to Delhi, and left.
And that’s when I learned No, it’s NOT okay to give too much in a relationship. No, it’s NOT worth losing your self-respect. If someone doesn’t respect you, you’ll just end up humiliating yourself over and over again while they don’t even blink. They say, “You should take a break at the right time, otherwise you start looking pathetic.” And damn… I looked pathetic.
Question: Is it worth giving too much effort in a relationship?
Option 1: Is love worth losing your self-respect?
Option 2: Is it fair to love someone so deeply, and still be treated like you never mattered?