This Confession started in June 2020 when I met a girl 2 years older than me while playing PUBG. Since it was lockdown time, we used to play daily from morning to evening. She was so innocent with a cute voice. She proposed to me on 25th September 2020. Before accepting, I asked whether she was in a relationship before me she said NO. Since it was my first love, I wanted a girl with no past.
I saw some of her comments on Instagram on boys’ posts which were disturbing, but I still accepted her as it was done in the past before she knew me. We were very happy, We did all the things long distance lovers do: from nudes to sexting. She insisted I come and meet her. There was also a chance of getting physical. I was very young, 19 or 20, so I was scared that she would blackmail or taunt me for getting intimate or use that to force marriage.
I wasn’t sure about her, as it was LDR and I hadn’t met her yet. I wanted to take it slow, go on 2 to 3 dates, then decide what to do next. I decided not to touch her without the intention of marrying her, as that would be cheating or playing with emotions. We continued the relationship, which I felt was very good. In June 2022, she suddenly started asking me to marry her immediately, out of nowhere. She cried a lot.
I felt very bad seeing her cry and asked for some time, as I was preparing for an exam in December. I told my family about the marriage they accepted, but only after my elder sister’s marriage in December. From June to December, I focused on preparation. On 15th December, we met for the very first time. She was coming by train, and we talked all night during the journey. I met her when the train stopped at a station near my home for 2 minutes.
Now comes 2023. As per my promise, I went to meet her in January. She didn’t come, saying it was Sunday and she couldn’t leave the house. I went back home, 200 km away. Again, I went in February, but she didn’t come. I saw some change in her behavior. Upon confronting, she said she lost feelings for me because I didn’t accept her marriage proposal earlier. I apologised and said I’d marry her now, She rejected it.
On that day, I cried while sitting on a railway platform. I came back and decided to not love her anymore. I requested her to at least be friends, but deep down, I was trying to win her back. She clearly said no. Then suddenly, in May, she asked if I would still marry her. I was doubtful about her changing behavior but still asked her to meet and talk. I never had any intention of touching her.
From June to September 2023, she started showing some interest in me. We met on 8th September 2023. We ate lunch, she fed me with her hands, she was so loving and caring. On the same day, I asked her if she would marry me. She said her family wouldn’t accept me because rejected it.
On that day, I cried while sitting on a railway platform. I came back and decided to not love her anymore. I requested her to at least be friends, but deep down, I was trying to win her back. She clearly said no. Then suddenly, in May, she asked if I would still marry her. I was doubtful about her changing behavior but still asked her to meet and talk. I never had any intention of touching her.
From June to September 2023, she started showing some interest in me. We met on 8th September 2023. We ate lunch, she fed me with her hands, she was so loving and caring. On the same day, I asked her if she would marry me. She said her family wouldn’t accept me because I’m Hindu and she is a converted Christian.
I was very happy after meeting her. We took pictures and had good conversations. I returned home, but from the next day, she started ignoring me again. Still, she would ask me for money. She comes from a poor family, and her father is not responsible. I helped her whenever she asked. She returned the money after 5 months, saying she wanted to keep limits clear that we were only friends.
I started doubting myself, thinking maybe she didn’t find me attractive. I asked her about this she said no. My feelings for her grew stronger every time we met. I went to meet her in November, December, and January, but she never came. I went without telling her, because she wouldn’t agree to meet.
In January 2024, I went to her workplace and met her. She said her family was looking for matches, and she was ignoring me because it would be painful for me. I said not to worry about my feelings if I feel bad, that’s my weakness. If she didn’t want to marry me, it was okay. It’s natural to look for better options.
Still, I kept trying to get her back. She continued avoiding me. On 24th April 2024, she got engaged. She managed it so well I had no idea. On 25th April, she sent photos and said, “You should stop contacting me now.” My innocent self still had hopes, thinking it was an arranged marriage she didn’t like.
She said she was marrying only for her family and couldn’t find a better match. I accepted her decision and stopped troubling her. But I still hoped she would change her decision. She said she may love me but couldn’t cancel the wedding it would ruin her family’s reputation.
Now comes the real twist, which I found out one day before her marriage. It was a love marriage. They knew each other since 2014 and were in a relationship from school days. He broke up in 2020, and she immediately trapped me for attention. After 2 years, when we were together, he came back and they started talking again.
They even had sex, and she got pregnant in March 2023. After that, he started avoiding her. She came back to me again and used those intimate videos to blackmail him into marrying her on 7th August 2024.
Her explanation: She blamed me for everything even the pregnancy saying I spoiled her by sexting. She said, “You didn’t agree to marry me, so I decided to leave you. I lost feelings for you in 2022. I coincidentally met him again and wanted to marry the person I had sex with it would be unfair to you otherwise.”
My POV: I accepted her despite all her flaws religion, money, her family issues (her father threw them out). I kept trying to win her back for 2 years, went to her city 6 times. If she had told me about him when they started talking again, I would’ve left her. She gave me so much trauma and sleepless nights. I kept doubting myself, asking why she didn’t love me anymore. I only wanted to meet and talk she wanted to keep her character “clean.”
Now, I have no feelings left for her. I stopped contacting her a month ago. But I feel like a fool for trusting her so blindly. The only thing my mind says now is: take revenge tell her husband everything. She used me as an option. When her husband’s family demanded dowry, she fed on my attention and played with my feelings. When she said all this, I felt a pain like never before. I spent 4 days reading old chats and analysing everything. After all this, should I still think about her future? She never cared about my time or emotions. I really hate her now. Is there anything called karma?
Question: I need genuine suggestions.
1: Should I take revenge?
2: Should I leave it to karma?
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