So, I met a girl in college, she was my junior. We were both dancers and met in a dance society. Slowly, we both got into a relationship with each other. We had a 3 years long relationship, and then I graduated from college. Things were going well, but after graduating, I decided to prepare for the CAT exam and moved to a new city. Things started getting tough for her. I gave her all my time; even during the night, while she was sleeping, I would stay up to make sure she was fine. When she went to college, I would sleep, and this went on continuously.
I couldn’t attend my coaching classes because I only prioritized her. However, I also wanted her to understand that I would need time for my studies too. She didn’t understand and asked me if I was seeing someone else. I then tried to give her all my time, but later, she asked me to meet her, saying, “Every friend of mine goes out with their boyfriend, you’re never there for me, you’re making things hell for me.” She would cry, and I said, “Fine, be patient. I will come.”
Slowly, she started talking to me less. I would call her, and she would say, “I’m studying.” One night, around 10 PM, I called her because I was about to come to see her the next morning from my flight. I kept calling her, but she said, “Stop calling me, I’m with my friend, I’m outside, I need space from you.” I asked her who she was with, and she replied, “What? Did I sleep with him? Ugh, you’re a disgusting person. Let’s break up, please. End this.”
I was in shock. A girl who had been doing all the couple rituals with me was saying this. My family knew her family knew her. I couldn’t understand. I had severe high blood pressure and fainted on the call. My roommates rushed me to the hospital. She called me 78 times, but we didn’t have contact. I stayed in the hospital for around 8 days. When I returned, my sister thought of meeting her to discuss what went wrong. She said she loved me and that I was being over possessive. After 3 or 4 days, we started talking again, and we got back together.
After 6 months, I read her old chats with a guy where she said, “Do you remember that night? It was so good, we had great foreplay.” I was in shock because she never told me about this and never confronted me. I asked her, “Why did you do this to me? How could you?” For months, she pleaded and begged. I never left her alone or abused her but was madly in love with her. Slowly, I began taking time to heal. I thought of giving her another chance, but after a day, I realized how badly she had treated me. Her best friend said, “Cheating is fine, don’t make such a big deal out of it.
You’re giving her too much pain. She’s tired of all this. You’re inhuman.” Everyone made me out to be the villain. I needed time to heal. I was in so much pain. No one saw how much love I had for her, even after everything that happened. After reading those messages, I still made her food with my own hands, stopped everything for her my studies, my coaching but it didn’t matter. What happened? She left me after 3 months, blaming me for causing her insecurities in interviews and affecting her grades. All her friends started abusing me with random calls.
She got placed at a 46 LPA job, while I’ve been unemployed for two years since college. She left me, my friends left me, and my brother committed suicide, and I had to deal with it all alone. I tried to hold it together, but it’s hard. Everyone keeps telling me I’m weak. They say, “You need to be strong, your heart’s too soft.” I suffer from chest pain all night, even begging in my dreams. I can’t deal with it anymore. Was it my mistake? All of it? I had told her about my future plans, and I told her I’d be preparing for my career before she came into my life. Now, I’m just lost. I’m afraid of people. I have no friends, no one.
Question: Was it all my fault? I loved her, how could she do this to me?
Option 1: Was I wrong?
Option 2: What went wrong?