20 Years of Family Connection Turns Toxic. In my entire 26 years of life, I never loved a girl or even made friendships with any girls. In my school and college days, I was very introverted, and I strongly believed I should love only one girl and marry her traditionally. I wanted to give everything to her. I preserved myself for my wife. My mother’s brother is her father making us first cousins.
My age was 26 and her age is 25. Our families are extremely close knit due to this direct blood relation. Our parents convinced me to marry her, citing: Family bond and unity, Shared values and culture, She rejected 5 to 6 grooms for me. Then she confessed to her parents that she wanted to marry me. Her parents spoke to mine. In November 2023, they convinced me to marry her. I requested time to get financially stable before marriage.
I gave my word to her parents I would marry her in March 2025. In August 2024, she confessed that she had loved me for four years and prayed to God to give me to her as a husband. She said she liked me for my introverted nature. She had feelings for me since college days. She had loved another boy briefly in college, but said it was just a phase. I was touched by her confession and reciprocated her feelings. (I don’t know if I did right or wrong here.)
She asked to go on outings and dates, even personal meetings, but my introverted nature stopped me. I told her I wanted to touch my girl after marriage only. She praised me and agreed. She made me fall in love with her. She supported me through my ups and downs in my career, emotionally backed me, and said, “I will walk with you every step of the way.”
Pre-Marriage Bliss:
I fell deeply in love with her. I dreamed of a 50 years future with her. We discussed everything from Honeymoon destinations Future careers and goals Financial planning Kids, education, aspirations. Then came the shock. We married on 12/03/2025.
Wedding Night:
We discussed movies, web series, vacations, our wedding photos, garlands, etc. As I’m introverted, I didn’t initiate intimacy. I thought she would but she didn’t. This continued for six days. In our tradition, I was supposed to stay at her house for 8 days. On day 7, my parents visited. They noticed my unhappy face and asked what was wrong. I told them we hadn’t been physically intimate. They scolded me. They said: “A man should initiate first!”
So I did. Then came the first shock: She said she accepts me as a friend, but not as a husband. My heart started racing. Then came the next shock: She didn’t want a physical relationship – she wanted to have a test tube baby using a sperm donor. She said, “We are blood relatives. Our kids might be born disabled.” I asked her why she didn’t tell me all this before marriage. No reply. I told both our parents. She said, “I’m ready to die but I won’t have kids with him.”
I got angry. I returned home with my parents. Then a twist. Next day, her father came to my home. He said she realized she was wrong. She called me and apologized. I brought her back to my home. That night, I initiated again. She declined. Said she needed time. “How much time?” I asked. “10 years, 20 years, or lifetime,” she said. She wanted to live like friends, adopt kids from an orphanage. I said, “I want to continue my generation, have kids with you.” She said, “So you married me only for physical needs?”
Her words broke me. I called her parents again. They said bad times were going on and some rituals had to be done asked for 1 month. I agreed. She returned again. She agreed to physical intimacy in front of everyone. The Fateful Night on April 30th 2025. Alone with me I initiated gentle foreplay. I kissed her everywhere. She stayed completely still didn’t even touch me. I tried to proceed. She claimed she had pain. Said we’d try next day.
Next day same excuse I am getting stomach pain. Third day again stomach pain. On fourth day, I questioned her. “If we haven’t even done anything, how can you have stomach pain?” She refused to go to the hospital. We argued. Then she said: “I don’t like you. I’d rather sleep with ten other men than with you.” I slapped her 3 to 4 times. She shouted, “I will destroy your life! I’ll make sure you never marry or sleep with anyone again!
I’ll send you to jail!” She told her parents I slapped her with slippers and tried to kill her. She said she wants a divorce or she will die. Next Shocker She told everyone I never touched her since Day 1. Claimed I was impotent. Said I had no feelings for women. She used my introversion as a weapon. Now she wants mutual divorce, saying she doesn’t like me or else she’ll put false allegations on me. I don’t want more disrespect or fake charges.
So I agreed to divorce. Now my parents are shattered. They feel guilty for pushing me into this marriage. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking why did she do this? When will I move on? Will I ever get married again?
Question: What should I do next?
Option 1: Never love or marry again
Option 2: Move on and focus on career
Option 3: Marry again and start fresh
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