It’s been only 4 months since we started dating. He was my friend and confessed his feelings to me one day, saying that he wanted us to be more than just friends. I couldn’t accept his proposal in the beginning, but I got convinced eventually when I saw him make efforts and say that he really likes me and that he would take proper care of me. Also, I didn’t want to lose our friendship, so I decided to give him a chance.
This is my first relationship. But not his first relationship. He had one serious relationship that lasted for 3 years and they were in a very intimate relationship, they had slept together. Both of them were serious and loyal to each other and he told me that the girl wanted to marry him and all, but since they were very young at that time and he didn’t want to settle down, he didn’t want to end up with her.
The concept of “one girl forever” sounded a little boring to him at that time and he didn’t want to be with one girl for the rest of his life back then. He wanted to experience other relationships as well and was curious about it. But the girl was not like that, so he stopped being invested in that relationship by not putting in any efforts, thinking she would gradually end it. She did end it by cheating on him.
That hurt his ego very much since he stayed in that relationship even without wanting it but never cheated. This affected his confidence very much and he started getting into casual relationships using dating apps and all. He started to date people casually and he used to make out and all with them and even slept with one of them. But he was done with trusting girls and he never committed himself and all of those relationships ended after a few weeks.
During this time he got into a car accident, got injured badly and was hospitalized for so long that it changed his entire concept about life. After all this, now he wants a long term committed relationship. He is done with casual relationships and wants something serious. He says he regretted what he had done to his ex and admitted that he was very immature. I already knew about his ex but didn’t know about the fact that he dated many girls after that when I started dating him.
He said he didn’t tell me that because if I knew, I wouldn’t trust him. He wants me to trust him. I asked him many times, are you sure about us, and he said he is. I don’t know what to do. He treats me very nicely and cares about me a lot and puts in a lot of effort, but his past is haunting me. Even though he hasn’t done anything wrong and everything he did was with their consent, since I am a virgin I always wanted my partner to be a virgin as well.
But the fact that he slept with two women is haunting me and I am scared that if I take this relationship further in the future, this will become a problem for me. I told him this in the beginning and he told me that he never cares about people’s past and that his ex was also not a virgin when he met her but that doesn’t matter to him and he asked me to do the same.
In the beginning I thought I shouldn’t care about his past and started dating him but now I’ve started catching feelings and I’ve started to think about his past and how he had sex with those two women. I haven’t slept with him yet and he told me he will wait till I am ready for that, but I am scared to do so, thinking I will regret it in the future.
That I lost it to someone who is not a virgin and I won’t be able to ask for a virgin partner anymore. I don’t know whether I am doing the right thing by judging him based on his past.
Question: What should I do?
Option 1: Should I continue dating him
Option 2: Should I stop this before it gets worse
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