After 8 months of a breakup with my boyfriend, he texted me again. It happened 3 years back. As my feelings for him were still there (because the breakup was from his side), I started to talk to him again, texting and calling him. We used to meet in restaurants, and it was him who used to pay the whole bill, as I was not earning at that time. His behaviour was sweet, caring, and protective towards me. He used to address me as “my baby,” “my sweetheart,” “you are mine.” We exchanged sweet, caring texts.
He supported me during my tough times when I was struggling to get a job. We never judged one another. Due to all of these actions, my feelings for him gradually started increasing. Meanwhile, we shared some physical intimacy, excluding sex. He was pressuring me for it, but I kept postponing it with one excuse or another. Slowly, as days passed, I started getting more friendly with him. He opened up to me that he had been talking to other girls too and had shared a bed with 2 of them. It really shattered me from the inside.
I started questioning myself:
- Were those feelings only from my side? Because if he had feelings for me, he would never flirt with others.
- Being myself, I did not even kiss any other boy except him.
Still, I thought maybe I could remain just friends with him, as I was totally engrossed and obsessed with him. But this idea failed miserably. I cannot listen to his stories about meeting and talking with other girls. Now I think I should really get rid of this drama in my life. I am feeling irritated. How can I be such an emotional fool for so many years?
After a lot of overthinking, I have arrived at the conclusion that it was just a Situationship, which I mistook for a Relationship.
Now, I would appreciate any suggestions:
- Shall I confess to him that I still have feelings for him and that I cannot be just casual with him, and cut all contact with him?
- Actually, I am also thinking that, as he used to pay for me, I should return that by giving him a treat at a restaurant. Because I am on the verge of getting a job now. Otherwise, I will always feel guilty that I have used a boy’s money.
- Shall I totally stop meeting him?
My family is already thinking of my marriage within the next 3 years. I really feel I need to get out of this, but I am stuck between my mind and heart.
Question: What should I do now?
1. Should I confess that I still have feelings for him?
2. Should I simply cut off contact with him?
3. Shall I give him a treat and be guilt-free?