Two years ago, I dismissed the idea when someone suggested I date (with the intention of marriage) a friend of my close friend, saying it wouldn’t make any sense. Our families know both of us well. Last time he was around, we shared a normal bond of being acquaintances, talking a little bit about work and all.
Once, when we were out with mutual friends, he mentioned he was in love with someone and didn’t want to get married to anyone for the next few years. Six months down the line, someone else proposed the idea of matching me with that guy. I was dealing with some personal issues, and to dismiss the suggestion, I asked them to check with the guy first if he’d even be interested.
To my surprise, the guy wanted to explore the equation. Our journey began. All was great for a couple of weeks, but eventually, he grew distant and finally confessed he wasn’t feeling ready to get married. In between some heated discussions, he said he couldn’t give me all his emotional space and clarity at the moment. Eventually, he grew even more distant, and I insisted on going no contact, which we did.
After 2 to 3 weeks later, he came to India and started chatting with me again like before but hinted that he planned to tell everyone involved that he wasn’t ready, even though he said he liked me and couldn’t imagine seeing me with someone else. Eventually, he did say no to getting married.
Later, he proposed continuing to speak to each other now that the pressure was off. After a deep conversation with his close friend, and after apologizing for zoning out and admitting he got too scared and didn’t know what to do, he agreed to sort things out with me to clear misunderstandings and make sure I didn’t presume he was playing with me.
We met again to resolve issues and move forward. We did, and decided to give it 2 to 3 more months to see what this could be and removed the marriage agenda from the list. But then, I started having a hard time trusting him, his actions, his attention, and everything. He said he’s giving his 100% now, but I still can’t forget how he pursued me in the initial days.
He also admitted he’s not sure about me at the moment. He’s confessed that he feels great talking to me, feels calm, and is attracted to me. He’s been exclusive, and there are no red flags as such, but I’m not sure if he even feels ready to date me. I’m feeling the urge to leave, given he’s still not stepping up. I was strongly hoping we could make it work, but I no longer feel the way I did in the beginning.
Question: I’m calling it off
1. Find someone who is sure about you
2. He needs more time before committing
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