A couple years ago, I got a really bad and totally random disease that made working my awesome job really hard to do. The exertion caused my disease to be painful. I was forced to quit my job, and I found one that was more relaxed and was 2am to 8am. I got really tired from some of my medication and no showed one day. They fired me.
I was hesitant to find another job because my painful disease, and it was also hard to beat the pay of my first job. So I googled jobs from home and cam girling came up. I’m a pretty horny person, but still very shy. But I was like whatever, this sounds easy. My first day on a live cam, I made 2000~$, but I felt really depressed. Seeing 100 guys be perverted takes a toll on you.
That was enough to cover rent for awhile so I quit getting on. I was also scared of recordings because I didn’t want my family to see, and I had to show my face. So I started selling faceless nudes on Reddit. It was a little less depressing, but I was never motivated to be consistent, and oh my gosh those men are annoying.
I ended up using all of my savings on my expensive apartment (cheapest in the area though), and was not posting very often. I was very depressed. My family had moved away and I’d chosen to stay, stupidly. I got really scared about rent, as I was slacking on nudes, and so I looked into prostitution. Because camming checks took two weeks to come, Reddit takes a lot of work, and rent was the next week.
First I had sex with a recent grad who got 500$ as a gift and wanted to spend it on someone to clean his house naked. I found him on Craigslist. I got too scared to “act” like a maid when I got there (people who enjoy sex can be shy!) and asked if we could just have sex and I’d leave. At first I thought I was going to die, because he lived in the middle of nowhere. But, he was actually a pretty cool dude. So we had sex and I left.
So, I had rent for next month. Next month rolled around and I was trying to figure out how to prostitute online without being arrested. I would exchange phone calls, and I had a good idea of who was creepy or not. I was scheduled to meet up with one guy, but it didn’t feel right in my stomach, so I called and cancelled and he YELLED so much, I was so scared and so glad I chose not to see him.
I met another guy on a website CLEARLY for disguised prostitution, and we met at a hotel, had sex, and for some reason he thought it was a date and I had ‘matched’ with him. (Of course that wasn’t obvious until after we had sex. It was REALLY awkward.) So he clearly didn’t have money and I just walked myself out. Well I basically ran. Lesson learned, discuss prices (Although I was being discreet because cops.)
Eventually I found this really nice 45 to 50yo Doctor. He’d never been married and he had an enormous house to himself. I met him for dinner the first time, and I followed him to his home. We had sex and he paid me 600$ plus gas money each time. I’d see him about twice a month. He was weird because he’d want to give me massages and flirt and I just wanted to go home. He was obviously very lonely, and asked for just my company a lot.
He asked me to stay the night and literally just watch the movie Frozen with him. He wanted to give me a car (I was having troubles). And basically be his Julia Roberts. I slowly lost contact with him because it was weird for me. I quit prostituting, and went back to selling media online. This went on for several months.
Then eventually, while still selling nudes for rent, I went to tinder (for fun not $) and started hooking up frequently with one guy. We weren’t serious, but he was the only person I was having sex with. I always used condoms. Eventually everything sizzled out and I was finally just going to move in with my parents again. I went to the doctor beforehand, and I found out that I had chlamydia for, my guess, 6 months.
And it was from the Tinder guy, not the men seeking prostitutes. I was regularly tested while “doing business,” but I assumed there was no risk with the tinder guy. We used protection. I got cured, but have not been to an obgyn for an actual exam, ever in my life. I only ever went to see my primary care doctor, to see if I had an STD regularly (while prostituting).
I have never been ‘probed, because believe it or not, the thought of that is too awkward for me. I almost didn’t get std tests because the anxiety. Flash forward a year and a half or something, and I’m engaged and have not told my SO about this part of my life. He is really big on ‘numbers’ and I’m only his second person he’s had sex with. I don’t feel like I should be judged by him for it.
I already hate myself for it all. edit: (Not that he would be cruel, but he’s dumb enough to think it will affect how I think of his dick, or that maybe I may do it again one day.) I actually did tell my SO I sold nudes, but I said my face was never shown. Just to give him peace of mind, because I’m sure that isn’t showing up anywhere.
This is just a breakdown of the story, there were a few reasons I just didn’t leave and go back home. I wish I had. I feel awful all the time, and seriously regret all of my choices. I’m worried I have Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, and that I cannot have kids with the love of my life. I have not told him I had an STD before. I’m 95% sure I have PID, but I’m scared to find out if I do, and tell him and my family that I do.