6 years marriage, my wife has a very very low libido and sexual drive, kani my needs are very high. I want atleast 2 to 3 times a week, but she wants only once a month max. She enjoys while we do it, but initiate undadu, I literally have to beg her, do a million things to get her ready for sex. Most complicated task of my life, She is never tired for late night games, movies, TV kani sex anagaane she is tired, sleepy and what not. All these rejections, excuses, fights made me empty, make me feel like an addict.
I tried bringing therapy topic as well, she said we are fine you are too needy. Once a month is normal in Indian families ani teesi paaresthadi. Except this, we do not have any other issues. Maa neighbour’s wife, who is also my wife’s friend, learnt from my wife that her husband ignores her, goes out hangs out with his friends a lot and they also have sex once every 2 to 3 months. It all started with intentional physical touches, shoulder medha cheyyi, back or neck meeda light touches, hair or hand touch, small kani repeated, clear ga accidental kaadu ani ardam ayyedi.
One evening kids andharu park lo aaduthunnaru. My wife was busy explaining something to another friend. She stood beside me and casually said to me:
“Meeru chala silent ayipoyaru lately”,
I smiled “Nothing, just tired.”
She looked at me and said softly, I know how it feels when you don’t get the wanted, that line hit me hard. We exchanged messages and learnt a lot of things about each other’s sex life and decided to meet outside, we booked a hotel a little far from our place and spent the day. Maa wife ki office ki velthaanu ani cheppi vellanu. Omg, probably the best sex we ever had. I was surprised to know that she was never touched that way in her life.. From then this was a very routine thing for us. We did oral, different positions, living our sexual dreams.
Things that would have been never possible with our spouses. Later we realised hotel is getting expensive and slowly started moving these meets to our houses. When our spouses and kids were not around, we do it at least 3 times a week now – there is a project by itself to escape cameras haha but easier than getting my wife to have sex with me lol. Today, we both are quietly satisfying each other, our spouses not really knowing about it. Strangely, life feels balanced. I stopped begging. I feel calmer. Not sure how long this will continue.
But for now, needs are met, lives are moving, and in our own way and we are happy. Sometimes, these kinds of affairs can seem like a way to keep a marriage peaceful instead of constantly fighting or ending in divorce. Every relationship has emotional and physical needs, and for many couples, a healthy sexual connection is an important part of maintaining intimacy.