I’m a 26 years old female, married 8 months ago. I just don’t know how to move on from the person I had feelings for. That person was my best friend. I met him around 2014. We were just friends in the beginning, and later, I don’t know how, but I started liking him… and so did he. He asked me out on a date and said that if things went well, we could get married.
I wasn’t ready at that moment as I was dealing with exams, was stressed, and unsure especially because we had hardly met in person, maybe just twice or thrice in the span of 7 years, even though we lived in the same city. Still, not a single day passed without us texting each other about our day for hours. We never spoke on the phone; our only mode of conversation was text.
He was very special to me because he never flirted it was always genuine conversations, laughter, and support. We never spoke about love in those 7 years. The day he asked me out, I said no, not because I didn’t like him, but because I wasn’t mentally ready. I wanted to confess to him in person that I did actually like him and wanted to date. But the moment I said no, I saw a different side of him.
He started calling me “Mrs.” with my male friend’s name to tease or taunt me. He judged me, saying I wasn’t a “good girl” because I didn’t sext him or send pictures, while his other female friends did, which he considered normal. He even sent me pictures of himself in bed with other girls. He was filthy rich and started accusing me of being with him for his money. He had severe anger issues.
We had many fights, but our bond never completely broke. At some point, I couldn’t take his anger or accusations anymore. I was broken. I had trusted him so much and planned my future with him. Ironically, every time I gathered the courage to confess my feelings, he would show a new side some tantrum or outburst. Yet, he had a soft side too.
He was kind and always there for me during my good and bad times, and maybe that’s why I developed feelings for him. One day, I decided I would finally go to his house and confess. I was just an hour away from doing it when I got a call from a junior. She said she loved him and that he had told her he liked her too. He had told her all the same things he had once told me.
They were planning a future together. She said he told her that we dated for 5 years and that *I* abruptly left him without reason. He put the whole blame on me. Since she was serious about him, she reached out to ask if he was actually a nice person. I was in complete shock and heartbroken. I had been just about to go meet him and confess. Instead, I stepped back and told myself maybe it wasn’t meant for me.
I eventually said yes to an arranged marriage. Now I’m married. My husband is a good man, but he doesn’t talk much. Our conversations are minimal. Somewhere deep inside, I miss the bond and conversations I had with my best friend. I just don’t know how to move on or fully accept my reality.
Question: And maybe that’s why they say everything is destined, and we should try to accept reality?
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No
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