I am 29 years old, and a few days ago my parents started receiving marriage proposals for me. One proposal came from a girl who lived about 35 km from my hometown. The mediator sent us her photo she was beautiful and the moment I saw her, I felt a strange connection. Her father directly called my babba (dad) and spoke with him for four days about our family background and values.
This proposal went back and forth a few times. At one point, the mediator told us they were looking for someone with a government job, so my father stopped contacting them. Then, out of the blue, her father called again and said they were visiting our hometown and wanted to visit our house. My babba agreed. In May, they visited our home, met me, and liked our house. They then invited us to visit theirs.
On 2nd June 2024, we visited their home. Everything went well. She is the only child of her parents, and due to her father’s job, they currently live in a rented house about 600 km from our area. When I saw her face to face, I genuinely felt like I had met my soulmate she had an innocent face, a pretty smile, and was around 5 feet tall.
I convinced my parents that she was the perfect match for me, especially considering what dating looks like in today’s Gen Z era. However, my family didn’t quite like her father’s body language. I considered it a minor issue, but my parents said we should wait for confirmation from their side, or we’d move on. Eventually, they agreed, and discussions about a possible ring ceremony in October or November began.
Both families started talking regularly, and I was extremely happy. I got her phone number and messaged her. We started chatting like crazy. On the third day, we exchanged pictures. I asked her, “You’re so beautiful didn’t you have any boyfriends in college?” At first, she said no, but later she confessed a secret on WhatsApp. After two minutes, she called me at 12:30 a.m., and we spoke for four hours.
She told me she had a boyfriend who was controlling, and they were in a relationship for 1.2 years but never had a physical relationship. I appreciated her honesty and told her it was okay. She said she was only telling me this because I would be her life partner. We talked for 13 days straight. Even my sister got involved. I’d go to the office just to swipe in and out, then spend the rest of the time updating her via status.
Since we spoke so much, I once said “I love you” and asked her for a flying kiss. I also told her I had drunk beer 4 to 5 times in my life and that I was a virgin. One day, I showed her some Mangal Sutra designs, and she showed me what she had bought for me and herself. Then, just two days later, she suddenly began avoiding me. I couldn’t control myself and told my sister what was happening.
My sister called her, and she used my “secrets” against me saying I drank, said “I love you,” asked for a flying kiss, and commented on her appearance in a pink saree where she looked a bit slim. My sister didn’t know how much we had chatted on WhatsApp and judged me unfairly. She then told the girl, “Don’t make any hasty decisions.
Talk for another 10 days and if you still don’t like him, that’s okay.” The girl agreed. But suddenly, her father called my father and officially called off the wedding on August 3. I was devastated. I couldn’t sleep properly for 2 to 3 weeks. Right now, I’m doing better, but I still don’t know the real reason. My mind keeps searching for answers.
Question: If both people talk for days and there’s commitment, shouldn’t we get attached to that person?
1: Yes
2: No
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