I’m 28 female, educated, independent, and emotionally exhausted. First, my family matched me with a dentist. At first, everything seemed smooth. We had family meetings, phone calls, casual conversations. I felt seen and respected. But the fairy tale started cracking soon. I found out he had a long history of relationships. That didn’t bother me much. We all have pasts. But what did bother me?
The smoking, the drinking, and worst of all, he was still in touch with his ex, a fellow doctor. He said it was just for work. Really? He told me he’d cut contact with her. But then came the real kicker. He said I should never check his phone. He framed it as a question. I refused, obviously. But the fact that he even brought it up made my gut twist.
His attitude toward his past made me feel like I was the one doing something wrong for asking basic questions. I felt manipulated, confused, and like I was already walking on eggshells in a relationship that hadn’t even begun. So I asked my parents to call it off. And now, my marriage is fixed with a government officer. A so called Class 1 catch from Uttar Pradesh.
Everyone around me keeps saying, “You’re so lucky.” But let me tell you what “lucky” really looks like. He and his family are demanding dowry. Yes, in 2025. Cash and a car. When I objected, I was told, “This is just how things are here.” His family lives in a conservative joint household where the daughter-in-law’s voice is considered a threat.
He doesn’t even answer my calls in front of his mother. He’s told me straight up, “After marriage, if there’s any argument, you’ll stay silent and obey.” Obey. He said I will never be allowed to travel alone with him because the family always comes first. His sisters go out, wear what they want, speak freely. But for the daughter-in-law? Silence, submission, and sacrifice.
He warned me, “The first few years of marriage will be very tough. Maybe things will improve later.” Maybe? And now I’m stuck. Everyone knows about this wedding. Invites are being printed. Relatives are congratulating me. I’m dying inside. And the worst part? I’m starting to wonder if the dentist was actually a better choice.
At least his family wasn’t trying to turn me into a maid with a Mangal sutra. I was worried about red flags. Now I’m being handed a red carpet to misery. I don’t know what to do. Do I keep the peace and walk into a cage? Or break everything off and face the backlash? All I wanted was a partner, not a jailor.
Question: What would you do if you were in my place?
1. Marry the conservative guy and pray I survive
2. Reconsider the dentist despite his issues
3. Break free, call it off, and start fresh
4. Talk to the guy, set boundaries (if that even works)
You can share all your Confessions with me over Gmail or Google Chat Praveenpandu6102@gmail.com