I am a Software Engineer, and we once worked in the same team. We started dating two years ago, and this is my first relationship. Initially, everything seemed okay. I saw a few red flags, but I wasn’t mature enough to recognize them. I thought that in all relationships, some sacrifice is necessary. He is four years older than me, and his parents were already searching for a match for him.
He insisted that I tell my parents about our relationship a few months ago. Honestly, it wasn’t the right time for me, but I did it anyway. Then he informed his parents too. Both our families weren’t interested at first but agreed for our happiness. But over time, the red flags became more visible. He constantly checks my phone. Even though we meet every day, he still checks all my messages and call logs.
He never told me his salary, but he knows mine and is aware of all my expenses and savings. Never felt truly cared for or treated right by him. If I expected small gestures like flowers or any effort from his side, but I received nothing. I’ve told him what I want; I’ve even shared reels showing how I want to be treated but there’s been no effort. He always forces me to do things.
If he wants to meet, we have to meet regardless of whether I have work or not. I’m tired and emotionally drained from being forced into everything. Even though he never said it, I know he earns more than I do. He has mocked me for my weight and pressured me to change jobs to get a higher salary. I do want to improve myself, but the way he says it feels more like an insult than encouragement.
I’m mostly unhappy when I’m with him. Whenever I try to share my feelings, he doesn’t listen, he shifts the focus toward getting physical. That makes me feel emotionally unvalued. I gave up and tried to break up with him, but he convinced me to stay, saying he would change. Now, he has stopped insulting my weight and has bought me a few gifts. But it feels like he’s giving me things just to make me stay.
He is still forcing me to do things according to his wishes. I’m also scared what if I never find love again? I feel stuck in this relationship. He’s now pressuring me to get married soon. But I don’t know whether I should marry him because we’ve already been physically involved or leave him and choose peace.
Question: Should I marry him or leave him?
Option 1: Marry him
Option 2: Choose myself and my peace
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