I started dating a girl in January. It was a LDR, and our vibe matched effortlessly. We were both college students and financially dependent on our families. Still, whenever she felt low, I’d ask her to order something nice to eat just to cheer her up. I genuinely enjoyed doing small things for her. Initially, she wasn’t demanding. But over time, she began asking for things like a hair curler something her entire family would use.
That made me uncomfortable. Why was I expected to pay for her family’s needs? Isn’t that supposed to be her parents’ responsibility? A few months later, she came to visit me in my city during her vacation. I managed everything and also paid for her train tickets (both to and from). During the entire trip, I covered all the expenses food, travel, accommodation, everything. She never offered to contribute not once.
I even asked her casually how much money she had brought, and she said her UPI wasn’t working. That excuse wasn’t new. This time, she hadn’t brought any cash either. I was shocked. Who travels to a new city empty handed? What if something had gone wrong? But what hurt me more than the money was the silence. Before the trip, we had mutually agreed to split expenses.
I wouldn’t have minded covering extra had she just acknowledged it. But even after she returned, not once did she bring it up no “thank you,” no “I’ll pay you back.” Nothing. That silence was more painful than the cost. I’ve been in relationships before, and my exes always took care of their share. I’ve always believed that when you’re both students and spending time together whether it’s at a restaurant or on a trip splitting expenses is just basic courtesy.
If I’m buying a gift or doing something special, I’m happy to pay 100%. But shared moments should be shared in responsibility too. There’s something else I need to be honest about. Before she came to visit, I had complimented a female friend in a chat someone I considered decent and respectful. I later realized it wasn’t appropriate since I was in a relationship. I owned up to it and blocked that friend when she asked me to later.
I respected her boundaries, even if it was difficult. But here’s where it started feeling unfair. She has a so called “male best friend” who openly brags about manipulating girls stories she herself has told me. Still, she chooses to hang out with him, even after I shared my discomfort multiple times. Her response is always, “He’s not a threat, you don’t need to worry.”
What’s worse even her own best female friend suspects something is going on between them. And it doesn’t stop there. She regularly meets guys she connects with on Instagram. When I ask her about it, the excuses are always vague: “The weather was good, so I ran into people,” or “They saw me and I couldn’t say no.” But how often can that happen? Is the city really that small? If she knows these guys are flirting with her, why does she continue engaging with them?
And then she tells me how well someone took care of her, or how thoughtful another guy was. She even clicks pictures with them. Meanwhile, I can’t even have a normal conversation with a female friend. Yet she expects me to be okay with her spending time with guys who clearly want more than friendship. What kind of relationship is this?
This makes me question the entire relationship. Is this really love or am I being emotionally and financially used? I’ve been trying to give my best, but I feel drained. I don’t feel seen or valued. And then I learned about how she treated her ex. Back in her first year, she bought him a phone. She contributed equally in that relationship. And despite that, he cheated on her.
Still she gave him so much more than I feel I’m receiving now. Why is it that people who treat others poorly often get more effort and affection, while those who try to genuinely care end up being taken for granted? This is not just about money it’s about mutual respect, emotional investment, and fairness. I’m left wondering: am I genuinely loved, or just a convenient options?
Question: Is staying with her still a good decision?
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No
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