I met a guy on Instagram. He used to send message requests for many days. Initially, I ignored him, but one day out of curiosity to know who he is, I replied to him. Then we started talking and eventually became friends at his request. He portrayed himself as a very true, honest, and genuine person who immensely respects women. I trusted that he was a good and genuine person, which is why I agreed to be his friend.
After some days of talking as friends, he proposed to me on a video call, said, “I love you,” and promised me that he would never leave me and that we would always be together forever. His promise of being together forever and the way he showed his love to me made me fall for him. I literally got convinced that he would never leave me, and if everything went well, we might get married too.
Mainly trusting his promises, I agreed to be in a relationship with him. It all started like a fairytale. He showered me with so much love, care, respect, and support. After some time, he started asking for sexual intimacy. I trusted him so madly, and on the belief that he would never leave me as he promised, I gave in to his demands.
In our first meeting, he asked me, “Will you marry me?” I said yes. In the second and third meetings, he tried to get close to me. Foreplay happened between us, but when he tried to have sex, I didn’t feel comfortable, so I pushed him away and refused. Both times, he said, “It’s okay, when you’re ready, then only we’ll do it.” He always used to say, “I love you, not your body.
Even if you don’t have sex with me, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you.” After hearing those words, my trust in him grew stronger. I was so happy that I finally found a true partner who would always be with me, which he made me believe. One day, while talking on a call, he told me that he had made a decision in the past never to get married because of his risky profession (he is an NSG Commando), and his mother was completely fine with that decision as they didn’t want to make someone’s daughter suffer in case something happened to him.
I was surprised. When I asked, “What about us?” he said he would talk to his mother and try to convince her. He also clearly said that if his mother agreed, only then could marriage be possible, and if she refused, then there was no chance at all because he couldn’t go against her. I said okay, first talk to your mother and then let me know so I can also decide whether to continue this relationship or not.
Then his emotional drama started “Sorry, she’s my mother, I have to obey her,” etc. He said he was going to visit his home soon and would talk to her. After going home, the next day, he called me and said his mother was not agreeing at all. I asked him to try again and not give up on love, but he refused. I felt hurt and angry. It seemed like he was just imposing his mother’s or maybe his own decision on me.
If he didn’t care about what I wanted, wished, or desired, then what kind of love was that? That day, he made it clear that marriage would never happen. I started distancing myself from him. But again, his emotional manipulation started. He said marriage isn’t everything, that he’s in love with me, and promised me that we’d still be together.
Somehow, emotionally manipulated again, I agreed to continue the relationship, trusting his words and promises. Foolishly, I trusted him again and fell for his words, as I was deeply attached to him by then. We started talking again, and this time he began asking for sexual favors again. Initially, I refused, saying I couldn’t because we had no future. But then he started saying, “I’m in love with you.
I’m never going to leave you. I’ll always talk to you, always contact you, no matter what.” He even put his hand on my head and swore that he would never leave or cheat. I just blindly and foolishly trusted him maybe that was my biggest mistake, or maybe he made me do so. I agreed to give in to his sexual desires every time on calls just by trusting that his love was real and true.
I didn’t want to lose him and believed in his promises. That turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Whenever we met, we became physically intimate. But when it came to sex, I still felt uncomfortable and unsure. I tried to give in just for him. What happened between us cannot be called complete sexual intercourse. I mean, he penetrated me slightly, and there was a bit of blood, but he couldn’t come inside properly as I felt discomfort and pain within a second. It was my first time.
I pushed him away. I felt like my body wasn’t accepting him, and my gut was strongly telling me not to go further. I feared what would happen if he left me after this, or if something went wrong. I also refused to have unprotected sex despite his request, and he acted okay at the time. But after a few days, his behavior started changing. He stopped calling and texting, ignored me, and hurt me with his actions.
He completely changed and started blaming me, asking why I was making a fool of him and refusing sex. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable, but he didn’t care. He only cared about his desires. This hurt me badly. I cried and waited for him the whole day. My life felt like it was falling apart.
One day, out of frustration, I tried logging into his Instagram with a random password and his birthdate and it worked. I was shocked and stunned. I went through his chats and found an affair with a 40 yeas old married woman (with a child). They were sharing nudes, sexting, and having phone sex. There was also a long list of women he had messaged.
When I confronted him, he blamed a colleague for doing it from his phone. But when I asked the woman, all my doubts were cleared she told me he was also using her in the name of love. I broke down. I felt anxious. How could he do this to me? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Why did he use me in the name of love? It was so hard to accept. He didn’t care at all.
He enjoyed his life while I was here, depressed, broken, feeling used and dirty. He even blamed me for logging into his Instagram and made me afraid by threatening to file an FIR, then said he wouldn’t because he considered me like family. I begged and cried for him to change, to make things normal again. I told him I would die without him. But he didn’t care. He just blocked me and left.
Now I’m here, broken, depressed, unable to focus on anything, feeling like my whole life is destroyed. I always felt like he used me and cheated me in the name of love. He faked love his real intention was to use me, while I trusted him thinking his love was true.
Question: Now what should I do? I’m confused. Please suggest.
Option 1: File a legal case against him for using me
Option 2: Move on in life to make a better, brighter future