I met a much younger, handsome, and ridiculously enthusiastic guy while I was barely recovering from a brutal heartbreak. This man had the audacity to approach me multiple times even before I ended things with my ex. We were in the same university, and he tried to ask me out three times in five months. I rejected him each time. But after breaking up with my ex, I decided to give myself a chance to talk to new people see if I could build a genuine connection with someone.
He wasn’t even on my radar, but as fate would have it, I bumped into him again. And with just one “hi,” our story was sealed. We had a long, smooth conversation. And damn, he was charming. Too charming. I hesitated when I found out his real age it was way younger than I imagined. But he was persistent, smooth talking, and convincing. So, I thought, why not take a chance? We were both ambitious, disciplined, and had a positive mindset about life. On paper, it looked great.
But reality hit harder than a freight train. Our differences? Absolutely polar. Apart from the glaring age gap, there was a massive cultural and upbringing divide. I was raised in a loving, supportive family. He came from a broken home and a traumatic childhood. During arguments, this difference screamed. I’m the kind of person who talks things out l communicate. He? He’d completely shut down. Silent treatment. Emotional avoidance. Every time we fought, he emotionally ghosted me.
I had to teach him that communication mattered. Slowly, he changed. A bit. But beneath the surface, his ego was massive. The kind of toxic masculinity that’s ingrained deep, shaped by a culture that still treats women like they’re second class citizens. Sure, he pretended to be “woke,” but the core values he was raised with bled through. We clashed. Often. And guess who always had to compromise? Me. Always me. I had to bend, shrink, and exhaust myself just to keep the peace.
Every time I tried to leave, he’d come crawling back promising change, swearing he was different now. And like a fool in love, I stayed. I stayed despite the constant fights, the emotional neglect, the disrespect, and the soul crushing insults. I stayed because I loved him. I gave everything. My love. My energy. My loyalty. And deep down, I still knew he couldn’t be trusted. His words were empty. But love makes you blind and stupid, right?
Then came the night that shattered everything. We were on a trip. He was asleep. I went through his messages. And what I found? It destroyed me. Turns out, he had cheated on his ex while chasing me. He lied that they were over when they weren’t. The messages? Proof. He was still with her when we started dating. SHE found out about ME. That’s when they broke up two months into our relationship. He even texted her saying he fell in love with me while being with her and begged for her forgiveness.
And as if that wasn’t enough, there were countless messages to other women flirting, fishing, playing the field. All while gaslighting me, telling me I was imagining things when I suspected it. He manipulated me so well, I even began doubting myself. The next morning, I calmly asked him to delete everything related to me our photos, messages, memories. He knew the jig was up and got defensive. His excuse? “I would’ve cheated anyway. I’m young.” He admitted he wasn’t ready for commitment.
His parents would never accept someone from a different culture. He said he’d never marry me. Just like that. No guilt. No remorse. Just a walking red flag with WIFI. I told him my love was so strong, only a real man could handle it not a coward like him. We broke up. He immediately moved on to another girl. That didn’t work. So, he jumped to the next. He always had a backup. He needs constant validation, constant attention.
Six months later, he’s still messaging me confessing how much he misses me, how no other woman compares. But commitment? Still not ready. Still stringing along his current girlfriend, who probably has no clue she’s being played like I was. Why do men do this? Why chase women just to destroy them? Why toy with emotions when you know you can’t offer stability or love? It’s the lowest form of human behavior, and I hate that I ever fell for it.
My heart? Shattered. I gave him every ounce of love I had. And even now, I’m healing. Slowly. I’m not ready to dive into something new until I fix this broken mess inside me. I might pretend I’m okay, but my emotions don’t lie. I’m embarrassed. I’m angry. I hate what he did to me. And the worst part? My stupid heart still wants him. Feelings are messed up. People are worse.