I’m 28F, and this might be a long story, but bear with me. Around 12 years ago, back in India, I used to have some odd thoughts. It may sound silly now, but being left handed, I often felt like I saw things differently. While most people prayed to God with the hope that their wishes would be granted, I had this strange idea what if I prayed to the devil instead? My logic was that God might be too busy since everyone prays to him, but maybe the devil would listen faster because fewer people pray to him. One day, my mom found out about this and freaked out. She took me to a dargah and got me a thayithu (amulet).
I was fine for a couple of months after that. During my 10th grade and intermediate, my parents felt that I wasn’t focusing on my studies properly. So, they put me in a strict hostel and even paid the warden extra to keep an eye on me. At the hostel, I was always an introvert. I kept a low profile because I felt that if anyone found out about my interests or how I thought, they’d avoid me. Despite everything, I kept my grades up. I had issues with the room next to mine they were loud and played anthakshari late into the night, making it hard for me to sleep.
One night, I got up to use the restroom. Our hostel had a common bathroom area, like most people who studied in places like Narayana, Sri Chaitanya, or Bhashyam would know. As I walked through the corridor, I saw those same girls still awake with their lights on. This became a regular thing, and even though I complained to the warden, nothing changed possibly because they were all from his caste. Frustrated, I got a stupid idea. I bought some ankle bells (gajjalu) and a pitch black bedsheet. I hid in the bathroom late at night and would run through the corridor under the black sheet, making noise to scare them.
They started turning off their lights out of fear. I kept doing this for a couple of months. Eventually, I got caught. During a surprise inspection while we were in our study hours, the management found the black sheet and bells in my luggage. My mom was furious. She took me back to our hometown and made me join a different college for my second year of intermediate. I decided to get serious about my studies and worked really hard that year. I ended up scoring very well in my final exams and got a good rank in the CET. That helped me get into a reputable university where I completed my Bachelor’s in Computer Science.
After I proved to my parents that I could live on my own, they thought I had changed. But deep inside, I never stopped thinking about dark things. I still wanted to know if the devil was real. I used to walk into graveyards late at night, all alone. I would sit there for hours, just listening to the creepy sounds dogs howling, leaves moving, strange whispers in the wind. I felt peaceful in that silence. When someone was being cremated, I waited nearby, hoping the body would move. Sometimes it did. I thought it was a sign from the devil. Later, I found out it was just gas in the body reacting to the heat but it still gave me chills.
I thought I left all the dark thoughts behind when I moved to the USA, but I was wrong. Something followed me. Now I live in Chicago, a place with a lot of history and stories about haunted places. Slowly, strange things started happening. I saw shadows moving when no one was there, heard whispers at night, and saw faces in the mirror that disappeared when I looked again. At first, I thought it was just my mind playing tricks. But deep down, I knew the truth. Whatever I tried to reach years ago… it had followed me here. And it wasn’t leaving. let me explain that as well.
I too feel and sense that, curious to read next