Indian society has always expected women to be docile and submissive, and emphasized that men are providers and protectors, while women are nurturers and caretakers. In the old days, men used to actually be breadwinners and provide for women, and women used to take care of the home and kids. But those men were decent enough to be aware of their wives’ needs and considered it their responsibility to give her comfort when a woman was leaving her home behind.
Also, hypergamy, the phenomenon of women marrying up, has always been predominant in the human species due to biological reasons. But in recent times, it’s observed that more and more women are becoming educated, high earning, and financially independent, whereas more men are becoming unemployed, without resources or education. Modern men expect women to serve them everything on a platter.
She should work and earn to feed the family, pay EMIs, and also do household work, with no shame about what they bring to the table. They feel entitled to huge dowries and have the audacity to label women as gold diggers when rejected, cry over unasked alimony as a reason for not giving commitment, and want strong women for casual intimacy and submissive women to marry.
The standard of men is dropping to another level. Educated, high earning, business family men just want someone submissive, even if she is educated, whereas poor, less educated, and unattractive men feel entitled to women who provide for them and also massage their fragile egos.
When it comes to women who are high earning, headstrong, and beautiful, it triggers their insecurity. They are often never given commitment and are preferred as girlfriends only. Meanwhile, homemakers or women with simple jobs are preferred for marriage based on beauty but are expected to be obedient and have no opinions. No guy, even if unemployed, unattractive, and poor, chooses a fat girl to marry.
In short, patriarchy just wants to benefit men and exploit women. Men want dowry, which they consider their profit. Men want her salary, her household work, and the biological work of bearing children, which again is their profit. If she chooses to divorce, they cry over alimony, which is given in hardly 10 percent of cases, and that too is very little compared to the cost women bear.
This is so transactional, and yet people are expected to hold the moral ground of being loyal to whoever they get? Or else, you’re labeled as a slut and whatnot. It’s so unfair to be a woman in India!
Is it wrong to expect a good quality life and be ambitious in India as a woman? Is a woman’s life always expected to be a sacrifice for others’ happiness? Why doesn’t our society respect single women? Why do we judge people just on the basis of their sex life? Why do we punish people for choosing their own happiness over others’? Why can’t men relocate to a woman’s house after marriage if she is financially better off than him?
Is equality just for social media and not for reality? Why can’t today’s men be manly enough to assure women that they can pursue their life and be a true companion, letting her be in her feminine energy?
Question: What should Indian women do?
Option 1: Leave the country and settle away from patriarchy
Option 2: Learn to shrink and live a submissive life
Option 3: Fight misogynistic men and teach them a lesson
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