I live in London and met my husband when I was 17 and he was 31. He had lied and told me he was 28, not that age mattered to me. We hit it off instantly, and within 3 months we were secretly married, just one day after I turned 18. Eventually, my family found out. My parents were furious, but they finally accepted us with one condition: we wouldn’t live together until they got us married properly in India.
His parents didn’t talk to him for a month, but eventually gave in. Still, his mother would taunt me that they had found a better girl for him than me. Everything seemed perfect for a year while we prepared for the wedding in India. Three nights before the wedding, I was trying to bond with his mum. My husband had gone to sleep, and I was looking through childhood photo albums, listening to stories.
Out of nowhere, she said, “I have to tell you something but tum ghabrana nahin.” Then she dropped a bomb. My husband had been married before. Imagine what a 19 years old girl must have felt in that moment. I was shattered. But I loved him too much. I let it go. We got married in front of our families. I never told my parents because they were finally happy, and I foolishly took it as my karma for hurting them.
But I carried that pain for a year. Then I found out I was pregnant. Fast forward to now. We have a daughter. His mother came to visit us in London. I didn’t want her to come because we live in a one bedroom flat. I told my husband it wouldn’t be manageable, but he insisted she was very understanding. I made it clear that I would live as I like even when she was here, and he said fine.
She slept in the main bedroom, now our daughter’s room. We slept in the living room. She used to stay up till 1 a.m., playing on her iPad, even when I told her I had to wake up early to drop my daughter to school. My parents generously offered to let her stay with them on some days. But after she came back, her behavior got worse.
She started saying I was going out without telling her, that I was loud with the door lock to disturb her sleep, and that I was making her feel lonely just because I spent time with my friends. She complained that she could hear me and my husband during sex. Then she told my husband to divorce me. She called my father and accused me of being behind her son for six years.
She said I was a characterless woman. All this because she overheard me and my husband joking that I would have dated someone else if he hadn’t come into my life. She lost it even more when my father told her, “If your son isn’t happy, tell him to leave her.” Let’s not forget, this woman was staying at my parents’ house. They fed her, washed her clothes, and gave her a place to sleep comfortably.
My husband and I had multiple fights after that. He kept accusing me of hurting his mother on purpose. But I never once answered her back. Eventually, even he admitted that I tried everything to make peace. She even tried to create misunderstandings by telling him I said he doesn’t spend money on me. A complete lie.
After everything, I stopped talking to her. I never even looked at her, but I still gave her food and kept her room clean. This went on for three months. Eventually, my husband took her back to India. The day he left, I had a panic attack so bad I thought I was dying. I called him, begging him to come back from the airport. He switched off his phone and didn’t talk to me for 24 hours.
Later, he told me he was stressed and blamed my mum for calling too much. So now I’m left wondering. Who is really the problem? My husband or my mother in law?
Question: Should I leave my husband?
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No
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