We met a couple of years ago, during a time when I was going through my separation. We’ve known each other since childhood our parents were childhood friends. During that dark, painful period, he reached out to me, and we became close friends. As time passed, I realized I had developed feelings for him and he liked me too. But I kept my emotions to myself, terrified of ruining the friendship. Later, he confessed he wanted more that he loved me.
He tried hard to get me to open up, to admit how I felt. After months of emotional tug of war, I finally told him I loved him too. But deep down, I was scared what if it all fell apart? I wanted commitment, marriage, a future. When I told him that, he said marriage might not be possible. But still, we decided to give ourselves a chance. Six months later, my divorce was finalized. I asked him to speak to his parents, especially since they were already pressuring him to marry.
But years passed, and he remained stuck in the same place unsure, spineless, and afraid. He told his family about us, and they outright refused. Not because we didn’t love each other, but because I was divorced. That one word divorced was enough for them to discard me like I didn’t matter. And him? He didn’t fight. He didn’t stand up. He didn’t choose me.
Yet, we clung to each other desperately. We spent nights planning, dreaming, hoping for some miracle. But he never had the courage to face his parents. He didn’t want to lose them but didn’t want to lose me either. And so, he chose the most cowardly option: do nothing. Let me wither in limbo. And then, the final stab he got engaged. To a girl chosen by his family. From our family friend circle, no less. I broke down. I fell into a spiral of anxiety and depression, trying to make sense of it all.
And then came the worst part people whispered that it was a love marriage. That he never fought for me because he had already moved on. Two months of dead silence. Then, like a ghost, he reappeared. He said he felt guilty. That he still loved me. That he couldn’t stop the wedding. I asked him about the rumors, and he denied everything said it was arranged. That it wasn’t his choice. And yet, even now, he reaches out. He calls. He texts. Tells me he misses me. That I still matter.
That he regrets it all. But when I ask him to meet me? To look me in the eye? To fix what he broke? He disappears. Again. And again. He doesn’t want to hurt his parents. He doesn’t want to hurt his fiancée. But somehow, breaking me over and over is perfectly fine. He keeps me hanging trapped between a love he refuses to own and a life I can’t fully move into. I left everything behind for this man. I fought to believe in love again. And now, I’m stuck. Torn between the past that still clutches my heart and the future I’m too scared to embrace.
Every time I try to move on even just talk to someone l feel like I’m betraying him. Even though he already betrayed me. No matter how much I try, a part of me still belongs to him. And that part refuses to let go.
Question: Trapped between love and letting go what would you do?
Option 1: Move on with difficulty by cutting all ties
Option 2: Fight for love
Option 3: Wait and see
Option 4: Stay in touch but set boundaries