Six years ago, I met him (now 28 M) at our first job. We clicked on many levels, but I initially thought he wasn’t the one for me because I judged him based on his communication skills and other factors, considering him less modern. However, I always wanted to help him because he came from a small village and a poor family, and he wanted to succeed in life. He was always there for me, though he once tried flirting with my friend who was already in a relationship.
Whenever he called her, he would ask to speak with me, which annoyed her. I knew he had feelings for me, and I had feelings for him too, but I was unsure about starting a relationship. When my friend left for her hometown, he began accompanying me home every day, expressing how much he liked me. Eventually, I admitted I loved him too, and we started our relationship. It was happy at first, but he was very possessive. After three to four months, he lost his job and became frustrated.
I supported him through this tough time, and he eventually found a new job. However, I felt insecure because he avoided my calls and spent time with his female colleagues, though he met me daily after work and told me I was overthinking. Our relationship became strained as he continued to avoid me, eventually telling me he didn’t want to talk. I would stand outside his building, crying, until he came out and accused me of behaving irrationally, threatening to stop seeing me if I didn’t change.
I tried to control my emotions, but I was deeply attached to him. Despite my emotional and financial support, he started showing violent behavior, slapping me in a hotel room for forgetting something and later for being late due to work. Although he would apologize and profess his love, the pattern of violence and reconciliation continued. Six years into our relationship, his angry outbursts still occur unpredictably, both in public and private. He always pleads for forgiveness, claiming he doesn’t understand his behavior.
He has never cheated on me, but he gets irritated when I spend time with friends or go out alone, so I avoid doing things that might upset him. Despite his promises and apologies, his anger persists. Recently, I’ve started to question the future of our relationship. His parents, who were initially against our relationship due to caste differences, have now agreed to our marriage after he insisted. However, I have always been the one to maintain our relationship, without even friendships with other men.
Now, a decent guy at my workplace has been friendly with me not flirting, but I sense he likes me. I find him decent and good, but there’s nothing more to it. Given my boyfriend’s controlling nature, anger issues, and abusive traits, I wonder if I should actually marry him. This decision is weighing heavily on me, as I continue to reject potential matches out of loyalty to him. What should I do?