I’m a 30 years old man. My parents were actively seeking an alliance, and they finally found one for me two years ago. She was my family friend; our parents were really close, but we hadn’t met. When my parents talked to her parents regarding the proposal, they were all very happy. We started talking and also met a couple of times that year along with our parents. Eventually, we started falling for each other and had a long distance relationship for three months (though we had known each other for almost a year).
I had a past relationship that lasted five years, which ended because she left. My parents were not really happy about it, but still, I did not give up. I even dated her after her marriage was fixed, which she said she was not initially happy with (five years ago). Then, for two years, I engaged in online dating with a girl almost half my age. Since she was from a different community and country, I knew this wasn’t going to work out, so I slowly pulled away, and we had a mutual breakup.
Then came the girl I initially talked about. This was her first relationship. She kept telling me how scared she was about marriage, love, etc. She was quite younger than me, and we had an age gap. But both our families and we were cool with it. We never fought during the period we dated, and our calls were always fun. She kept telling me how madly she had fallen for me and made me promise never to break her heart. She used to keep asking me whether I loved her, to which I never replied “yes.”
I promised her I would confess when I truly felt it. We continued talking, and she was head over heels in love with me. Our marriage preparations had begun. I introduced her to all my friends and family, and everything was going well. A month before our wedding, I asked her if we could be physical. She was initially scared but then asked again whether I loved her. To that, I said physical intimacy would definitely be a catalyst for that to happen. With that, she was convinced and said she was ready.
I made sure to ask again, just to be sure that it was her own decision. I also told her I would take responsibility for whatever happened (just in case our families came to know). I asked her to come to my brother’s house. He lived with his wife and two small children. I told him I was bringing my fiancée home, and he and my sister-in-law agreed. They also told me that no one at home should know about it. She came over, and we had a good family time together. My brother and sister-in-law were really good with us. That night, we slept together.
The first thing she asked when we laid down was whether I loved her, and to that, I said, “Yes!” There was a sign of relief on her face. She caressed my face and told me she would kill me if I didn’t marry her. In my defense, why would I bring someone I wasn’t going to marry to my brother and sister-in-law’s house? I was sure we were going to get married, and that was the only reason my sister-in-law allowed it. Even though we slept together, I did not for a second cross the boundaries she set.
The next day, we went back. She had told her parents beforehand that she was going for dinner with my family. Both families knew she was there for dinner, but only later, what happened was kept hidden. We continued talking. She was literally more in love with me than ever. But then the main drama happened. My father called her father and spoke badly to him for letting her go to their elder son’s house for dinner before marriage. He harshly scolded them and even questioned their upbringing.
He also warned them to keep this conversation to themselves and not discuss it with us. But her dad, who literally started crying after my dad’s call, told her everything that had happened. My ex-fiancée then called me, crying, and that’s how I came to know about everything. But she begged me to keep the marriage and said she was willing to make any adjustments. For the time being, I said nothing. After learning about the incident, I did not speak to anybody in my house and stopped eating.
Seeing this, my sister-in-law called her and told her that she had ruined our family’s peace (which she never told me; in fact, I found out from their maid, who overheard the conversation). Even after hearing all that from my sister-in-law, all she did was cry and apologize. I realized the whole thing was now messed up. I felt very embarrassed, being a 30 years old man whose father couldn’t speak to him directly but instead went to the girl’s parents to complain about my fiancée-when the decision had been mine.
I did not know how I would fix the whole situation. My fiancée was on one side, crying and begging me not to break up, and my parents were giving me the hardest time of my life. And from the next day, I stopped taking her calls. I stopped opening her messages on every social media platform. She kept calling, and I refused to answer. Her long, lengthy messages kept begging me, but I didn’t open a single one. After months and months of no contact, she sent me a closure email, which I did not open either.
Our parents haven’t spoken once about calling off the marriage, but it’s called off. Now, my parents have desperately resumed their search, given my age. I do feel bad for what I did to her, but she looks happy, seeing her Instagram pictures. I know time will heal her. I’m doing just fine with my parents. The whole thing was not intentionally plotted by me. Things just turned out this way. I wish it had never ended like this.