On April 7th, 2025, it will be four years since our relationship began. She was 16, and I was 18 when we started in 2021. Everything was going well initially, and we decided to meet. I picked her up from her institute, promising to drop her back an hour before her academy ended. But on the way back, the road got blocked, and we were stuck for over 1.5 hours. Her driver, waiting to take her home, became suspicious and informed her father.
We live in an Islamic country where dating is considered unethical and shameful. Terrified, she confessed everything to her father, who then demanded my number, saying he would either speak to my father or take action against her. She knew we weren’t serious about marriage, just exploring the relationship, but she still gave him my contact. Her father called, furious.
My family got involved, and the elders decided not to burden us with marriage at such a young age. A week later, she texted, thanking me. She had expected me to walk away, block her and her father, but I didn’t involved my family to protect her. After that, she asked if I still wanted to continue. By then, I had developed feelings and said yes.
Four Years Later (NOW): I tried to start a business to become financially independent and formally ask for her hand, but it failed. I attempted the Army Entrance Exam three times, failing at the final interview each time. I’m now pursuing a tech degree, excelling in programming, and working on my startup. I believed this effort was for our future, but in the process, our communication faded.
She often fought about it, saying I didn’t give her time. I always told her that I was building a life where we could be together forever. Then, on January 30th, 2025, I read her chats with a university friend. She called him “baby” while he showed jealousy over me, telling her not to talk to me. She responded passively, heart reacting to his texts. When I confronted her, she said:
1. “What if, in the end, you become nothing, and we don’t get married? Then all this struggle means nothing to me.”
2. “If you don’t give me attention, I’ll seek it elsewhere.”
Still, I gave her a chance. A week later, I set boundaries for her interactions with male friends. She agreed but broke them within two days. I told her I felt jealous. She didn’t care. The same guy I read her chats with is still in her friend circle. I tried blocking her several times in the past month but couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, so I always unblocked her. Yesterday, I caught her deleting chats from her male friends in their group. Now, insecurity is consuming me I can’t focus on my studies or my startup.
During these 4 years, not a single thought crossed my mind about any other girl. But after her behavior towards me, I think she was never serious and was doing all this behind my back. I just never realized. I don’t know what to do. Should I stay in this relationship?
Question: What should be my next move?
Option 1: Ending this trauma for both of us
Option 2: Staying and waiting to see if she realizes my love
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