Basically, I am an old school guy who believes in being a one woman man. In the past, I was in love with a girl for 7 years, but she left me in 2020, and I wasn’t able to recover from that. My depression lasted more than 3 years. Then my family sent me to a different city, hoping I would get better. So I joined a college and met some great people there. It took me another 15 months, but I moved on from my past. Then on a random day, when I was traveling back to my hometown for the holidays, one of my female classmates messaged me something, deleted it, blocked me on Instagram, unblocked me, sent a follow request, and then deleted that request.
The next day when I reached home, I saw that but ignored it. Later that evening, she called me (we were not even friends), asked how I was, and then just hung up the call. I got a little curious and sent her a follow request. We started talking we used to talk daily for hours, and I started developing some feelings. But I never expressed them, as I had a bad experience in the past. After a month, she expressed that she had developed feelings and said she needed time to get out of this feeling, and I said okay. The next day she called me and asked to meet.
I said I had some health problems and couldn’t meet that day, and she started behaving like a child and insisted on meeting that day only. We met, expressed our feelings, and she said, but ignored it. Later that evening, she called me (we were not even friends), asked how I was, and then just hung up the call. I got a little curious and sent her a follow request. We started talking we used to talk daily for hours, and I started developing some feelings. But I never expressed them, as I had a bad experience in the past.
After a month, she expressed that she had developed feelings and said she needed time to get out of this feeling, and I said okay. The next day she called me and asked to meet. I said I had some health problems and couldn’t meet that day, and she started behaving like a child and insisted on meeting that day only. We met, expressed our feelings, and she said, “Let’s take it forward and see where it goes” (she also said she didn’t want any emotional attachment). Everything was going well, but after a few days, I told her that I had an attraction toward her for 6 to 7 months as she is very beautiful.
She flipped after hearing that and said all that talking, expressing, and everything was just a mood swing. I got pissed, we fought, and she blocked me. After a few days, I saw she unblocked me, saved my number on WhatsApp, and was actively interacting with my statuses. When I tried talking to her, she said she didn’t want to talk and called me “bhai.” I clearly told her that I have feelings for her and have no interest in being her bhai or just friends. So she blocked me again. I was fine with it and focused on my studies.
After 2 weeks, I was sitting in a blood donation camp in my college, and she came and sat near me and told me she wanted to talk to me. I said, “You have my number. You can contact me whenever you want.” She messaged me that night and said she really needed my help in studies. I said okay, I will help, as I still wanted good for her. We met at a cafe a couple of times. I tried my best to help her, but she was more inclined to talk about family and personal stuff like virginity and all. These things somehow made me fall completely for her. After a few days, I asked her to unblock me on Instagram.
I asked her three times throughout the day, but she didn’t. I got angry and confronted her. She blocked me even on WhatsApp. I again got into depression but didn’t try to contact her. I started drinking, smoking everything. I felt guilty about the way I talked to her when I confronted her, and after holding myself for 3 weeks, I messaged her saying sorry for the way I talked. And her reply was just, “I don’t care.” I got more heartbroken and asked my friend to message her to talk to me once. He used his own brain and called her and asked her to meet me in a café but didn’t tell me. He came to pick me up and took me directly in front of her.
I was already in a very bad state of mind, and seeing her suddenly, I didn’t know how to respond. When she started saying things like “tu pagal hai, chutiya hai, gadha hai” (you are a freak, dumbass, idiot), I got angry and acted very rudely with her there and came back. Again I started feeling guilty but waited for our semester exams to end. When I tried to contact her after that, this time she directly started abusing me and threatened to file fake cases against me. She then called my friend and told him to make sure I don’t contact her anymore. She also said that this temporary boyfriend girlfriend thing is very common nowadays.
That left me heartbroken. I am still struggling with my mental health till now.