Knowing or unknowingly I was on a spiritual path through meditation and Pooja’s from a very young age. I was always thriving and hd desire to see god. When I was around 16 years of age I met a male tuition teacher who was very religious and I thought he was spiritual too. I started believing him blindly and considered as a guru for spiritual path and one day he asked me to stand nudely and I did.
He chanted some mantra in my ears and patted my shoulder. (I never knew how sex and romance would happen) I had zero knowledge about such things. And later on days he started using me in sexual ways which didn’t aroused me neither I was involved. I just thought it was a part of spiritual practice and he might me checking whether I could resist or not.
But I never knew he was using me to quench his sexual desires untill it was intervened by my friend who was in love with me. Later he took me and asked how the tuition teacher treated me by showing me through demo. And then I was made realised that he was playing with me to quench his sexual desire. I felt same from this guy also. But he used to tell me that I will be your future husband so I can do this.
If I said no he used to abuse me and hated me like anything. After some years repeatedly telling him that I don’t like being sexually romantic in a open space, it doesn’t give us the privacy and I feel uncomfortable. He stopped doing it. Years passed on it was always a rollercoast. Many a times hmhe would stuck in loan or emi and unable to pay it. I helped him in all those situations.
Whenever I say that I couldn’t give him money or if I ask hime to give the money back that I have borrowed from my friends or loan app, he used to abuse me saying that you cannot help me when I am stuck in problem then you don’t be with me. We had multiple breakups and patch ups. Everytime we quarrelled he used to start taking that past incident stating you are a bitch who had sexual desires with that person.
He would take up my family matters which I had share with him against me. He has abused me in every possible pay to bring me down. Everytime we broke up he makes fake promises that he will never abuse me but does the same thing. He abuses me if a wish to go for a theatre alone, abuses me if I wish to go with my friends for a trip.
I being introvert likes to spend time alone or in the nature. He has hurted me in every way. Now I am broken down and finally I have blocked him in everywhere. But he is not letting me to be on my terms, he is calling me.
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