When I was in high school, I fell in love with a guy. Initially, we were good friends. I knew him as a broken guy with a breakup story. He came for a vacation to his aunt’s house, which was next to mine. I always spent time at his aunt’s house -we studied, had lots of fun, talked a lot, and everything was going smoothly.
One day, he approached me, but at that time, I refused because I didn’t know what I felt for him. I also thought that since he had recently gone through a breakup, it might just be an attraction. Things continued as normal until he left. I really missed him – and he missed me too. We kept talking over the phone. At exactly 7 PM, he would call me every day, and everything went so well.
Eventually, I developed feelings for him. But then, suddenly, he ghosted me. I didn’t know what happened. Later, I found out he had patched things up with his ex-girlfriend. That was the first time I had truly loved someone, and it broke me. Later, I entered college near his city – totally unexpected. He texted me, and we started talking again. One day, he came to my college to meet me.
He was single at that time. We spent a lot of time together, and he approached me again. I really loved him, but there were trust issues. After a few days, he asked me, “What is our relationship?” and we both confessed our love. A year passed with lots of memories, little fights, and misunderstandings, but I never thought he would cheat on me. He said, “I’m not responsible for this.
Your parents will never accept us.” He gave that as a reason for what he had done to me – and then I left him. But I couldn’t get over him. My family didn’t like him. I fought for him so many times that it caused a detachment from my family. I lost focus on my academics and started losing interest in everything. I was depressed for a long time. I decided to move on, but then he came back.
He told me about his breakup – the girl had cheated on him – and I really felt bad for him because I knew how painful that is. So I stayed with him and listened to everything he had to say. Then, he asked me a favor – to please talk to her and explain how much he was suffering without her. I did it because I wanted him to be happy. But the girl refused and told me he was very toxic.
Deep down, I already knew that because I had also suffered. We decided to just be friends, but slowly that turned into something else. He told me he was in love with me. The truth is, I still love him more than anything. I forgave him for what he did to me. But at the same time, I still have trust issues. That’s why I decided to be in a casual relationship with him – because I can’t leave him, and I can’t get over my high school love.
Question: Is it okay to be with him?
1. Should I leave him and try to move on?
2. Or what else can I do?
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