Reconnected with one of my schoolmates recently and though we had never spoken back then, there seemed to be a connection, and we started talking a lot. There seemed to be a sweet spark brewing, and we quickly started a relationship after about four weeks of talking. He told me within two weeks of the relationship that he loved me, and when I laughed and told him I didn’t believe it, he said he would prove it.
After a few weeks, I also said I loved him. In the first two months, he bought me a lot of gifts and would come see me whenever he could. He did tell me, though, that he had an ex-girlfriend he loved very deeply but that he was moving on. Three months into the relationship, he was watching a lot of porn, and I told him to quit because I didn’t want that in a relationship.
He said he was determined to try, but after a month, he went back to it again and didn’t tell me. When I finally found out, he said he lied so there wouldn’t be a fight and that he wanted to tell me once he’d quit properly. He also told me he was trying to make me happy, but that I had high expectations.
By this time, we had told our parents, and they were okay with the relationship and even wanted us to eventually get married. Then, a month later, he told me how when you’re in love, you feel like there’s no ceiling and the world seems smaller. I asked him who that love was for. He said, “His ex, of course.” I felt really bad that day, and there was a fight between us.
He said it’s just too early and that I needed to give him time. I decided to give him time and tried again. Once, when he came to visit me, I made his favorite dish though some part of it I couldn’t make from scratch and had to use frozen. He said the way to a guy’s heart is through food and that it wasn’t good enough, but okay.
Then, five months into the relationship, his calls dwindled. He said it was because he was busy with his studies and that he wasn’t even getting time to call his parents. Then one day, out of the blue five months into our relationship he said, “Oh, I don’t have any feelings for you. I only see you as a close friend. I never loved you. I only said I loved you with the good intention of falling in love eventually, so that you may be happy.”
Question: I know I overlooked some red flags here but I thought he loved me.
Is there ever a good intention to lie that you love someone?
1: Yes
2: No
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