I’m a 28 years old woman working in a reputed company, earning over 25 LPA, and currently looking for a life partner for marriage. I value qualities like loyalty, honesty, and understanding. I used to believe strongly in equality that a woman can marry a man who earns less or is currently not earning, without any hesitation, as long as he supports her in household responsibilities, just as she supports him financially.
I once connected with a non working 32 years old UPSC aspirant who had cleared the mains twice. Though he seemed promising, I soon realized he lacked exam seriousness and any willingness to contribute to household work. His parents were still financially supporting him. It seemed like he was looking for someone to take care of him for life after his parents. He expected me to manage everything.
When I suggested reconnecting after some progress in his career, he got aggressive and said it’s acceptable for a girl to be non working, but if a boy is not earning, no girl wants to marry him. But what he said is NOT true. In reality, most men don’t want to marry a non working woman either. I’ve never seen a case where a man happily marries someone who does nothing. Men expect their wives to work, cook, clean, wash clothes, give birth to children, and take care of their parents.
Some women may not do all of these tasks themselves and might hire maids but managing maids isn’t easy either. And even if women don’t handle all tasks directly, they still give birth and raise children. So how can anyone call women “non working”? In another case, a man earning 7 LPA showed a similar mindset reluctant to share responsibilities or support hiring a maid. He kept comparing me to his sister-in-law, where her husband earns 50 LPA so she doesn’t face financial pressure.
Even if she loses her job, her husband takes care of the household. But this man earns 7 LPA, doesn’t own a house in the city, and the future financial burden would fall on me. Despite his limited income, he expected me to manage both career and household without his support. When people say, “Working men marry non working women,” that’s misleading. A so called “non working” woman is usually doing a lot at home.
Unfortunately, most men today are lazy and truly non working. They act like parasites expecting their wives to be hosts and take care of everything. On top of that, if he is a playboy, it becomes hell for the woman on earth. This is why girls look for someone who matches their earnings, so that even if they have to manage the household alone, they don’t feel the weight of financial pressure. It’s about having some space to breathe.
Question: Should a woman consider marrying a non working man if he doesn’t contribute equally at home?
Option 1: Yes, if she’s okay handling everything herself
Option 2: No, financial contribution is essential