We were high school sweethearts. I was so deeply in love that I ignored all the red flags, and it ended up costing me everything. It was great at the start, and we were in a long distance relationship for almost 4.5 years. Things changed when we finally got the chance to stay together for a couple of weeks, and that’s when I discovered the horror of it all. He had always had anger issues, but I thought they were manageable. However, living with him made me realize how severe they were. I was manhandled, nearly hit, yelled at, ridiculed, and even had to seek therapy after being labeled as emotionally unstable.
He made cruel comments about my family members’ weight and skin color all of it was too much. And yet, I still loved him. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. I could never address any issue or have a normal conversation without him thinking I was attacking or belittling him. There was no way to get through to him without him lashing out, to the point where I’d end up crying. Gaining just a few kilos (4 to 5 kg) made me unattractive to him physically, and I became the target of jokes about how much I ate and how I looked.
I was disrespected. I still can’t believe how someone who once claimed to love me enough to marry me could almost hit me in front of others, yell at me until I cried, blame everything on me, and then expect me to brush it off the next day as if nothing had happened. I had my first panic attack that night, realizing how terrifying it would be to wake up next to this person every morning. Eventually, I called it off. It’s been three years since then, and I’m still undoing the damage that relationship caused me, while he’s now courting someone else.
All I can hope is that he keeps her happy and doesn’t treat her the way he treated me. In my heart, I’m still waiting for an apology from him, even though I know I’ll never receive it. To anyone reading this, I’d offer one piece of advice: if you’re uncomfortable with your partner’s behavior or feel scared, please talk about it. If nothing changes, leave them no matter how much you love them. If they truly love you, they will never break your trust or disrespect you.