I come from a middle class family. My parents struggled a lot and are now financially stable but they are very strict and against inter caste marriage. I met my love back in school. He was a senior let’s call him S. We only exchanged eye contact, but I knew he had feelings for me. I never dared to talk to him because I feared my parents. Once, my friends questioned him about me, and he denied any feelings, saying he liked another girl named D.
Hearing that, I distanced myself. (Later, he explained he only said that to throw off some boys who were threatening him.) A year later, I met another guy, P my relative from the same caste. It was a long distance friendship that turned into a relationship. Не confessed his feelings, and I slowly got involved. We kissed twice, and though he asked for nudes, I never sent any. We had romantic conversations. Just when I started imagining a future with him, he confessed he still talks to his ex and meets her often.
He admitted they’d done everything except sex. He claimed she would never marry him due to caste, so I shouldn’t worry. I lost all feelings for him after that and slowly tried to move on, but he manipulated me constantly. Then, one day, I got an Instagram request from S, my school senior. After 3 years, all the memories of our eye contact came rushing back. I’d had feelings for him since school. He was a converted Christian (originally Hindu), which made me afraid to open up.
Still, I accepted the request, and we started talking. I told him about P, and he told me to leave him, saying he was using me. Then he confessed that he had admired me since school but never had the courage to say it. He said his family would support us and that he’d handle my parents too. He insisted I unfollow all male friends from social media, saying men would take advantage of me. I listened and did it. We were about to enter graduation.
S had taken a year gap after his 12th, so we both planned to join the same engineering college. I gave up on my dream of studying medicine to be near him. I got a free seat in a college in my hometown, but S wanted me to join a college in Bangalore. When I tried to convince him to consider my hometown college, he refused and told me bluntly: “I’m going to Bangalore. If you want me, come. If not, leave.” I joined a different college in Bangalore.
That’s when the real story began. Away from families, our bond grew stronger. He started asking for nudes and physical intimacy when I was 19. When I refused, he emotionally blackmailed me saying things like, “You kissed P but won’t give yourself to me?” Eventually, I gave in. We got physically involved and were in love, but he often brought up my past with P and called me horrible names made me feel like a slut.
He never let me talk to any male classmates, even for academic work. Once, for a research paper, a teacher added a boy to our group. I asked for permission, and S reluctantly agreed. One day, the boy texted me about a lab record. I replied and deleted the chat to avoid S’s overthinking. Later, when another text came from that boy, S saw it and assumed I was hiding something. He slapped me and hurled abuses. I cried a lot. He didn’t care. I quit the project and blocked that boy.
From then on, he controlled everything. I couldn’t go anywhere if there was a guy in the group. Meanwhile, he hung out with his female friends, claiming he wasn’t talking to them much. I lost all my friends. I could only go out with him or alone. He failed subjects due to carelessness, and I helped him clear them – even paid 30K in re exam fees from my tutoring job. I earned 10K/month and spent it all on us. We got physical multiple times.
He rarely used protection, and once, during my ovulation period, I conceived. I was terrified. He wasn’t too bothered and said, “If you want the baby, we’ll have it.” But I knew he wasn’t ready. Neither was I. We were jobless. I had just secured a placement, and he was still searching. His family had lost everything in legal issues. I got an abortion using pills. Later, I told him I wasn’t ready for physical intimacy anymore but we got involved again.
Eventually, he got a job but for only ₹15K. I encouraged him. His mother, who supported us, wanted him to go abroad. He didn’t want to, lacked interest, and confidence. I initially backed him up, but his mother said: “If you’re stopping him, you don’t believe in him.” I convinced him to apply. He failed his US visa interview. I accompanied him to Delhi for it, used my joining bonus to fund the tickets.
After failing, he had debts. His mom asked me to stay with them during my WFH period. I stayed, thinking it was just for a few days but it extended to weeks. His mother delayed my return, saying, “Stay till Christmas,” then “Stay till New Year,” and so on. Eventually, his UK visa was approved.
Those days at his house weren’t happy. He was always on his phone, barely spent time with me. His mother would wake up at 11 AM. No breakfast, no chores I started taking care of the house like a married woman. He didn’t stand up for me. Finally, I returned home for a family function the last time I saw him. Someone from his church saw me and told my parents. With photo proof. I confessed everything. On the day I told my parents, he left for the UK.
My parents were furious. They asked me to quit my job, but I refused. They let me stay home under the condition that I work from there and follow astrology rituals. I traveled 17 hours once a week to attend the office. One family member accompanied me every time. They said if S’s parents come to speak, they’d consider it. I told S. He said, “What’s the urgency? Who do you want to f\\k in Bangalore that you’re so eager to return?” His words shattered me.
His family is expected to talk to mine next week. I fear my family won’t agree because his family is financially weak. I told S this pain, and he said, “Didn’t you know all this before sleeping with me? Acting like a bitch now?” He blocked me. Then, he cried and said, “I came to London only for you. I lost everything. Leave your house. Come to Bangalore. We’ll figure it out.” I asked him to come to India for the family discussion. He said, “I can’t. Don’t be immature. You have to fight now.”
Deep down, I feel no one can imagine life without me not even him. We’ve been through so much together. But my parents, who suffered through my sister’s divorce, now say they might end their lives if I go against them. Next week, our families will meet. I don’t know what to do. I need your support and motivation.
Question: What should I do now?
Option 1: How do I convince my parents?
Option 2: What if my parents don’t agree?
You can share all your Confessions with me over Gmail or Google Chat Praveenpandu6102@gmail.com or Telegram @PraveenPandu