We first met when I was in 7th grade he was my cousin’s boyfriend. Eventually, they broke up. I had a small crush on him back then. Over the next four years, we stayed in touch over calls, as we were in two different states, and eventually, feelings developed between us. By that time, he had already gotten married. Despite knowing that, we shared some meaningful memories, but the relationship didn’t last long.
Eventually, some emotional clashes led me to distance myself from him, and I got involved with another person. That relationship ended too, and I was emotionally disturbed. Five years ago, I reached out to the first person. Initially, our conversations were friendly. Не helped me come out of my emotions and made me strong. But over time, we grew closer. He was upfront about wanting a relationship based on pleasure.
l accepted that without judgment, thinking he wouldn’t get too emotionally involved. But I ended up falling for him again, though I was quite happy as it was one sided. But he too confessed his deep love for me within a few weeks. It’s been 17 years since we last met, yet we still care for each other deeply. Two years ago, his wife discovered our chats, which caused trouble between them.
Since then, we’ve set certain boundaries and have tried to maintain a respectful friendship (sometimes it goes beyond friendship). Things between him and his wife are now stable. We do fight occasionally, sometimes we go days without talking, but we always come back to each other. Despite everything, we’ve never stopped caring. I’ve told him that I want us to respect each other’s personal space and just remain good friends (which I struggle to maintain).
I sincerely want to continue this bond platonically as good friends and well wishers. I even hope someday I can reconnect with his family and be family friends. He too wants to see me happy and successful in life. But now, we’re both feeling the urge to meet. And I fear that if we do, it might turn physical which I know is wrong, given his marital status. At the same time, part of me wonders if I’ll regret not meeting him after all these years.
I’m torn between what feels right and what my heart wants. I sometimes consider meeting up in public just to avoid being physical.
Question: Is it wrong having him as a friend (only with good intentions) throughout my life? Should we meet up?
Option 1: Yes, meet up and be friends
Option 2: No, I shouldn’t meet
Option 3: Meet in public
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