So I met this girl and she is 20 years old on a dating app 4 months ago. I was just flirting, and then somehow she got serious about me. We started talking and getting close. Then I came to know she had one relationship in the past that lasted 4 years. They broke up last year (2023), but she was still in contact with her ex until I met her.
Now, as she shared with me, her ex destroyed her studies and career, and now she is in her 1st year without completing 11th and 12th grade. She says she’s unable to cope with her current studies and wants to leave the course to redo 11th and 12th, and then pursue a bachelor’s degree.
Looking at the timeline: I’ll be 25 by the time she completes her 12th, and then a B.Tech would take another 4 years so I’d be 29 by then. I can’t wait that long because my family expects me to get married by 27. Now she wants to marry me, saying she’ll complete her bachelor’s degree after marriage.
But what concerns me is our financial stability in the future. It feels like I’ll be the only one earning for the family while she depends on me. Considering the current circumstances and inflation rates, my salary alone may not be enough for our future and our children.
When I asked her about her passion or career goals, she said she’s studying for the sake of society, not for personal growth or development. And if I consider the other aspect being a housewife she doesn’t even know how to cook. I don’t know what I should do. She’s neither good in her career nor in housework.
I’m being practical here, because love alone won’t help us survive the big waves of life. She is so attached to me that she can’t live a single day without me. I’m feeling suffocated. I’m planning to pursue an MBA, but how will I manage our future when she’s not strong in academics or financially independent? Will I be the only provider? These days both partners contribute to a family’s income.
I’m so confused. I don’t know what step to take because everything is happening so fast the marriage proposal from her side, her academic issues, career stagnation, and even thoughts about raising children. How will they grow up if their mother is not well educated?
I don’t know. I’m having a lot of thoughts. Should I stay with her or end this relationship? Maybe I’m a shallow thinker, or an idiot, or maybe just being practical but given today’s realities, I don’t think a single income is enough to support a family.
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