I recently read a confession on this website about a girl dating a guy who’s very busy, and she feels unfulfilled with the limited connection as he gives her only half an hour to one hour daily. I think I cried reading that. I’ve been talking to a guy for the last 6 months, and for the past two months, he has only been able to give me one or two hours per week.
He’s from IIT and IIM, extremely brilliant, and is working on starting his own company. He quit his job a year ago to do this, so he says he’s under a lot of pressure, as it’s been one year of investing with no returns. So I was understanding of the whole situation and accepted the fact that he’s going through a challenging time.
He also hates wasting time, is always thinking about maximizing productivity, and says he hasn’t taken a vacation in a year and a half. He says he hates people who lie and has a big problem with dishonesty. So I kind of assumed he’s telling the truth. Whenever we talk, it’s great. I like talking to him.
He’s a nice guy who checks all my boxes: chivalrous, decent, not arrogant, respectful, understanding, supportive from what I’ve learned so far. Basically, no red flags. I met him 3 to 4 times a few months back. He was really attentive and interested, and gave his full attention.
But the fact that we speak only once a week now (for the last two months), and there’s generally no text in between unless I initiate it, bothers me. Earlier, he used to leave my messages on read for 6 to 7 hours. When I asked him about it, he improved and said, “You can always tell me what’s bothering you, and I’ll work on it.”
Sometimes, he does fix it, and then again it goes back to the same thing. He’ll say, “I’ll call you in 15 minutes,” and make me wait for an hour. He’ll say, “I’ll call you in the evening,” and then get busy with something. I feel like my last 6 to 7 months have just been spent waiting for him to get free.
Whenever I ask him about it, he says he’s sorry and he’s trying. He’ll try more. But I sometimes feel like I’m not important to him and it hurts. He seems to be checking his matrimonial profiles every other day, and I wonder if he’s “busy” because he’s juggling multiple people at once. I feel like giving up on him, as I’m already late for marriage. And I know everyone would say, “Leave him, move on.”
The only thing stopping me is that he’s the best guy I’ve spoken to on these matrimony apps. It’s a nightmare out there. At least he’s respectful and logical. The last time I got attached to someone on these apps, that guy used to get defensive if I told him my problems or what was bothering me. He’d start fighting and say, “You always blame me,” etc., and we’d never actually discuss my issues.
I feel like at least this guy isn’t dismissive he listens to my concerns and says he wants to work on us. He used to say in the first few months, “I like talking to you,” etc. Not sure what to do. I feel like giving up on him and moving on. Or at least living in peace alone.
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