I can’t tell the whole Confession as it’ll be too lengthy, so I’m summarizing it as follows. I was in a relationship that I truly believed would lead to marriage. I loved her deeply, and despite all the ups and downs, I wanted us to be together forever. But things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. The first major issue was with a common friend someone who used to be my BFF. One night, we were at this friend’s house, both of us drunk.
We got into a fight, and she asked me to leave her alone and go home without her, saying that this friend would make sure she got home safely. Later, she confessed that the same friend tried to kiss her that night. She pushed him away, but she didn’t tell me about it until two weeks later only after she had already met my mom. It shattered my trust, but I forgave her. Then there was the “Pyari” incident.
I once saw chats on her phone with this friend where the guy was saying all sorts of inappropriate things like “I’m eating tarbooz” and “I prefer Russian, I prefer German, more into bitches.” Then he mentioned a vibrator named “Pyari” and said, “You should use Pyari.” Her response was something neutral, just describing awkwardness, but it didn’t seem like she took the conversation seriously enough.
When I confronted her about it, she asked him why he said those things, and his excuse was that he just wanted a girl’s perspective. It bothered me because it felt like she was letting things slide that clearly crossed the line. The mall and movie incident happened before she moved to Bangalore. She told me she was going to the mall and then home, but after two hours passed and she didn’t respond, I called her.
She hung up, and half an hour later, she said she went to a movie with her manager and colleague. It hurt me because I felt like a simple message could have avoided all this just letting me know where she was. Despite all this, I supported her dreams. She was struggling with job interviews, and I always encouraged her. I was switching to a tech job myself but still found time to help her, even convincing her family to let her move to Bangalore for a better opportunity.
It wasn’t easy, but I stood by her emotionally and physically as she fought to pursue her career. After moving to Bangalore, she would often go out with her manager and colleagues. On my birthday, she wished me at 11:59 PM, but I later found out she had been on a call with her manager from 11:48 to 11:59. The next day, she went to a park with her roommate and the same two colleagues, including the manager who took her to the movie earlier.
I asked her to tell her parents about the outing, but she told them she was only going with her female roommate. When she came back, she sent me pictures from the park. I asked for all the photos, and that’s when she said her manager bumped into the frame while her friend was taking pics and randomly a few clicks got caught which shouldn’t have. They didn’t look like accidental clicks. Even though I promised her I wouldn’t get angry, I was broken.
I confronted her and, in a moment of emotional outburst, sent those pictures to my parents and her sister not to ruin her, but because I didn’t know how else to express my pain. Physically, we were close too. She had lost her virginity in a past relationship, and with me, it was her second time or maybe third if the incident with her BFF counted. For me, though, it was my first time, and it meant something much deeper.
In the end, everything fell apart when I involved our families. After I sent those pictures, she said she couldn’t do this anymore that she didn’t want to talk to me or be with me. She left. I know I made mistakes, I abused her in anger, I let my emotions get the best of me but I also know how much I loved her and wanted us to work. Now, she’s gone, and I’m left alone.
I still want to marry her and get settled and have a family, but I’m scared whether she will even come back or not, and if she does, whether she will leave me again. Just a request to the readers: please don’t give any hateful comments for anybody.
Question: What to do now?
Option 1: Go to Bangalore and confront her, talk to her
Option 2: Wait for the right moment/day to come
Option 3: Accept that I was just a time pass