I am an independent woman with a high paying job and financially stable background in a loving and long term relationship with a man I have been with since we were 18. Despite being in a long distance relationship since graduation, we both have been on the same page about marriage since the beginning of this relationship.
He loves me like breathing. However, my frustration is growing since last month because he has struggled to secure a stable, decent paying job since graduation (it’s been almost 4 years now). He is giving government exams but couldn’t even clear the first stage. His family of 6 (father, 3 sisters, and one grandparent) depends on him, but they don’t have stable income.
Income as in enough to sustain basic needs which will fall apart since his parents are getting old. This concerns my own family, especially regarding financial stability. I knew this since we started dating, but I thought he’d figure everything out. His family only has a home in which they live they don’t even have a car. I want him to make more of an effort to find a job that can support his family, fulfill his family’s demands (as they won’t take money from me), and also build a future with me.
I’m not even asking him to buy me a home. I’m okay with doing 50 to 50 or even paying for everything. I just want him to get a decent paying job to make my family feel secure enough to get me married to him with their blessing. But he’s not meeting my expectations. I am supporting him emotionally as much as I can. He appreciates my support and is happy with me. I love him and want to be with him, but the situation is becoming more difficult as I am 26 and he is 27.
I feel the frustration of a long distance relationship and want to marry him and live with him which he wants too. Both of our families know about us. My family adores him, and the same goes for his family. But the financial part scares my parents. After expressing my concerns, we had an agreement. He understood and agreed with everything we discussed, and he promised me that this year he will be able to get a job.
And now I am questioning am I asking too much? How do I get rid of this frustration of living apart? I think the long distance is getting tougher day by day. How can I be happy again like last year? I don’t want to lose him because of my frustration.
From this frustration, I have started to question whether he will ever be able to secure a job or not. What if he wants me to wait for another whole year? This “one year” thing is his decision which I agreed to last year, even before last year, and now again this year too.
Questions and Suggestions:
1. How to deal with the long distance frustration?
2. What to do if I get the thought of giving him a year mentioned at the end?
Option 1: Should I give him a year again to get a job?
Option 2: Tell him to get a job then come to me?
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