When I was in 10th grade, our school appointed a new chemistry teacher. She was 23, and I was 16. Everyone was talking about her, and when I saw her for the first time in class, I instantly felt attracted to her. She was taller than me and well built, and her physique drew me in. At first, my feelings were purely physical, but over time, they turned into deep love. She always wore simple, old clothes, which made me assume she came from a poor family. Even though I was also from a poor background, I felt sympathy for her.
I imagined a future where I would earn well, take care of her, and give her a better life. As time passed, my feelings for her grew stronger. Meanwhile, our school was highly focused on board exam results. They hired good teachers and conducted frequent tests. Until 9th grade, I had been an average student, scoring around 60 to 70%. But that year, I decided to take my studies seriously not just to perform well, but also to impress her and get her attention.
Surprisingly, I started topping all the preparatory tests. My confidence grew, and I was amazed at how capable I had become all because of her. However, this success made me overconfident and full of attitude. I began sitting in the last row, ignoring lessons, and behaving mischievously. I would ask tough questions that even teachers struggled to answer and solve problems on the board effortlessly. Soon, all the teachers were talking about me, amazed at how an average student had suddenly become the top scorer despite my naughty behavior.
But no matter what I did to impress her, she never seemed to notice me much. That’s when I decided to do something good or bad to stand out in her eyes. I started disrupting her class, passing comments, and mocking her until she became frustrated with teaching us. One day, I even complained to the principal, saying she lacked the knowledge to teach us and couldn’t answer my doubts properly. Because I was the school’s brightest student, the principal took my complaint seriously and scolded her in front of all the teachers and students during an assembly.
That day, she almost cried in front of everyone. After this incident, the principal removed her from our class, deciding to teach chemistry himself. I had done all this just to get her attention. I never meant to truly hurt her. One day, after school, I approached her, apologized, and confessed my feelings. I got her number, promising to explain everything over the phone. That night, we talked for hours. She told me she had been in love with a relative for the past seven years.
He was five years older than her, but their families were rivals, and he was struggling to convince her parents to approve of their marriage. She said she loved him deeply and that life had no meaning without him. She also told me he was jobless and had suffered mentally so much that he was hospitalized for months due to the stress of not able to win over her parents and he was almost going bald. Hearing this, I was heartbroken. But I told her that even if I couldn’t have her, I would still love her forever, no matter what even if she married him and had kids.
My love for her was unconditional. She said we could be friends, but I refused. I told her I didn’t want just friendship, and if she didn’t feel the same way, she should stop talking to me. Initially, she avoided me, saying I was like a brother, that our age gap was too big, and that society wouldn’t accept us. Most importantly, she didn’t want to betray her long time love. But I made it clear to her again that if she didn’t want me, she should stop talking to me. But I wouldn’t stop loving her, neither i would disturb or try to persuade her
But she kept talking to me everyday, asking about my well being and studies. Even when I told her to stop, knowing it would only hurt me more in future, she got emotionally attached. We talked for hours every day. One day, she finally admitted she couldn’t pretend anymore she told me she loved me and that she had never been this happy in her life, even with her old boyfriend. She said I had made her life special. As time passed, she started asking me for hugs and kisses.
But my love for her was so pure that I could have spent years just talking to her without any physical touch. I didn’t had much of sexual thoughts about her because I feared that if I lose her in the future, I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain. But she initiated everything. During school hours, we would secretly meet in empty classrooms, where we kissed and hugged. She gave me my first kiss and the longest lip lock. Which i would have never dared to do if she had not initiated.
Over the phone, she often spoke about intimate things, turning me on sexually. One day, she even invited me to her rented room, saying there was nothing wrong with sharing physical pleasure since we loved each other. But I kept asking her, “What if, after getting physical, you still marry that guy and leave me? I won’t be able to bear that mental suffering.” So I told her to wait a few years. I said, “If he doesn’t succeed in convincing your parents and ends up marrying someone else, then I will dedicate everything to you, and we’ll have a beautiful life together.”
So I rejected for physical relationship saying if at all we would get physically intimate then you should promise me you should be mine forever. She never gave a clear answer and called me childish, saying we should live in the present instead of worrying about the future. I was so naive that I even asked for her father’s number, telling her to fake my age and say I was only 2 to 3 years younger than her. And after a few years, I would achieve something big, convince her family, and marry her.
Then one day, her family found out about us. Then She called me for the last time and revealed a shocking truth that when i had confessed my love to her, she took the opportunity to take revenge on me for having complained about her to the principal and humiliated her in front of everyone and told she had started talking to me to teach me a lesson but later on as she saw my real side she got changed completely and started loving me really
And finally She said i am a very genuine guy and she didn’t deserve me, she cried for a minute and told she has been taking this decision with extreme difficulty and pain, that she had to end things and would never speak to me again. After that, she never contacted me. And all this happened in a span of just 4 months (From the moment I confessed my love to her until the day she left me.) I fell into depression, had suicidal thoughts, and suffered mentally. But I survived, enduring all the pain for my parents.
Despite everything, I never approached her again. For the next four years, I lived with a dull, emotionless face, constantly thinking about her. I never looked at other girls or found anyone attractive. Then, during my 5th semester, I heard that she had married that guy. Even after four years, that news hit me hard. I silently endured the pain again. Now I’m 25. I have moved on completely. So far, I haven’t approached any girl, and I’m still pure and a virgin. I don’t like modern hookup culture, but now I feel the need for true love one woman for a lifetime.
But I know that’s rare in today’s world. Many of my friends call me childish for believing in virginity and true love. Most of them have a body count 5 to 7 and mock me for wasting my life for love and virginity But I don’t care. I’d rather die single than follow this hook up culture. But sometimes, i feel guilty. I feel like i betrayed her boyfriend, who was loyal to her. I approached her, disturbed her and let things get physical, even though she had been engaged to him for seven years
May be I’m facing karma now struggling to find true love in today’s hookup culture.
Question: Did she really love me?
Option 1: Did she leave me because of her boyfriend
Option 2: Was she trying to use me for her sexual needs